


Roots

by vicaniyun



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrids, M/M, Slow Burn, mingyu is just a big ball of anxiety who wants to be loved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27349039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vicaniyun/pseuds/vicaniyun
Summary: Seungkwan had never wanted a hybrid, but Mingyu crashes into his life anyway with no warning, clumsy and quiet and nails bitten raw from nerves. If Seungkwan tilts his head and squints, maybe they aren't so different from one another after all.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Kim Mingyu, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 35
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

[playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4a2f6YiZP9ATsEX1zZ8koE)

* * *

With the December air came a chill that seeped through the walls of the apartment. The insulation was a tad too thin and even with the heat coming out of the floorboards, some nights were on the border of uncomfortable due to the cold. It was currently one of those times, and Seungkwan grunted in annoyance as he further bundled himself up in his favorite comforter, the fuzz of his socks a nuisance against his skin, but his toes would be freezing without them. He squirmed, sighed, then fell still again, his eyes pinching shut a smidge tighter as he desperately tried fall asleep.

He stayed motionless for a good ten minutes before he groaned, cracking his eyes open to instead stare up at the ceiling of his bedroom. His vision had long adjusted to the darkness, shapes and colors of his furniture bathed in deep blues and blacks from the lack of light. There was the faint sound of late-night traffic outside of his window, the little pitter-patter noises of snowflakes pelting against the glass too. Seungkwan was used to it.

He, however, could never grow accustomed to his brain racing like this in the middle of the night.

Seungkwan sighed, sitting up in defeat before glancing over at his alarm clock. He hadn’t slept a wink since he had laid down over an hour ago, so he supposed it was time to give up. Lying there was just going to make him frustrated and if he couldn’t sleep, he may as well try to get some work done.

He bumped into the doorframe on the way out, muttering to himself as he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. His head hurt. His fingers were freezing. He just wanted to sleep but his brain wouldn’t shut off.

Hansol was going to be the death of him.

Seungkwan knew that Hansol meant well, but he somehow had the uncanny ability to drive Seungkwan _completely_ up the wall some days. It wasn’t anything personal, per se, but Hansol had a bit of a tendency to not particularly read the atmosphere of the room at times. Normally, it was something Seungkwan rolled with, without complaints, but some days it just made him want to pull his hair out.

For example, two nights ago, Hansol had sent him a text asking if they could meet up over the weekend. It seemed harmless enough, but what had mainly snagged Seungkwan’s attention was the afterthought comment of ‘ _I need a favor’._ Now, with Hansol, a favor could mean anything. A favor could be something as simple as ‘can you help me move to a new apartment’, _or_ a favor could mean something along the lines of ‘can you help me hide a body’. That was scary enough on its own, but what made it worse was that Hansol just wouldn’t _explain_. Hansol already knew he wasn’t in the best headspace from work and everything else going on and just treating it like one big secret was making him _stressed._

_“It’d be easier to talk about in person. Please? I’ll be your best friend.”_

_“You already are my best friend, Hansol.”_

The man was seriously dense sometimes, but alas, Seungkwan would do anything for him. Unsure of what he was getting himself into, he agreed regardless, nearly certain Hansol had that big dumb smile on his face he always showed when he was pleased about something.

…Not that Seungkwan cared or anything, of course.

He was supposed to meet Hansol for lunch tomorrow and the fact that Seungkwan still didn’t have any details about what Hansol wanted to talk about was driving him insane. He had already been feeling jittery and restless with everything going on with work and his life and this whole fiasco wasn’t helping.

Seungkwan set the glass on the counter and the pain between his eyes had him digging around in the cabinets for some ibuprofen. He hoped he would at least get some rest before daybreak but at the rate this was going, he already knew he was going to be in a pissy mood tomorrow, cranky from stress and disturbed sleep.

The weight of the world felt heavy on his shoulders and the way his nightshirt hung over his body made his skin crawl for some reason, the string of his sweatpants suddenly feeling like it was choking him despite the obvious looseness around his waist. Anxiety prickled along the inside of his stomach and Seungkwan found himself groaning into his hands as he stumbled into his office.

He switched on his computer, and Seungkwan’s mind went blissfully numb at last as he buried himself in unfinished tasks.

* * *

Hansol was a high school friend. They had both been pretty awkward, if he was being honest with himself, but they somehow clicked and became close without too many bumps along the way. It felt like a pretty distant memory nowadays though, a bit fuzzy and faded in Seungkwan’s brain from occurring over ten years ago. Years came and went and despite the changes that happened in their lives – graduation, moving, jobs, you name it – they somehow managed to stay close. Seungkwan was thankful for it, even if it wasn’t something he always voiced aloud. Despite his extroverted nature it was a bit harder nowadays to make friends, as he wasn’t as young as he used to be and stability was hard to come by as an adult with a day job.

Needless to say, with over a decade under his belt of knowing someone, Seungkwan could safely say he could identify most of Hansol’s behavioral patterns. Like right now, for example, watching the way Hansol was meticulously rubbing the pad of his thumb over the handle of his cup as they sat together at the café. It was a nervous tic that he had developed at some point, so Seungkwan was already bracing himself for whatever was about to come, knowing it must have been something _big_ if even Hansol was nervous to talk about it.

But after the past few days of having his brain stewing in anxiety over the whole thing, Seungkwan wished he would just hurry up and spit it _out_ already. He was tired and not in the mood for games.

“Um,” Hansol started, presumably caving in from the way Seungkwan has been staring at him, nearly unblinkingly the entire time, for the past couple of minutes. He hadn’t commented on the dark circles underneath Seungkwan’s eyes, thankfully, probably too afraid Seungkwan would bite back if he dared to. “So, I’ve been talking to Seokmin these past couple of weeks…”

Seungkwan already didn’t like where this was going. Still, muscles tense in his legs, he forced himself to reply in a calm, level voice. “Oh?”

Hansol just hummed at first, stalling, before he sighed. “There’s been some bumps with the whole adoption process with one of their clients.”

Seungkwan was quiet in response to that, letting Hansol’s words slowly seep into his brain. He had met Seokmin before, as he was part of Hansol’s inner circle of friends. Seungkwan wasn’t exactly close with him, but they were cordial to one another and clicked pretty well when they saw each other during outings with friends or social events.

Seokmin co-owned an adoption center with Minghao, one of his friends. The only catch was that the center was solely focused around adopting out hybrids to those looking for someone to add to their family. It was a bit of a middle ground for someone looking to find something beyond a pet in the form of a standard cat or dog, but something different from the normal human at the same time. It wasn’t anything unusual; Seungkwan was fully aware of how hybrid popularity had grown over the years. Several of his friends had hybrids of their own, hell, his next-door neighbor had one too. Seungkwan didn’t think hybrid ownership was for him, but had no issues with the concept in general. An adoption center like Seokmin’s and Minghao’s was just a stepping stone to give hybrids another chance at finding a place where they properly belonged.

Too busy being wrapped up in his own head, Seungkwan had never replied to Hansol. Seeing that he wasn’t going to receive a response, Hansol continued. “One of the hybrid’s adoption process was canceled, so now Seokmin is desperately trying to find a temporary housing situation for him.”

Seungkwan raised an eyebrow. “Why isn’t he just staying at the center like everyone else?”

“You know how swamped those two get during the winter season. They’re already hard-pressed for room in general, but this is _the_ season for chaos, and they don’t have anywhere to put him because they’re full,” Hansol said softly, stealing a glance at Seungkwan. “I wanted to ask if you could possibly—"

Seungkwan immediately shook his head, cutting Hansol off mid-sentence. “No.”

Hansol frowned. “Why not?”

“Hansol, I have _zero_ experience with hybrids. I would have no _clue_ of how to take care of him,” Seungkwan practically gritted out, fighting the urge to tear at his scalp in frustration. It instead left him clawing his fingers through his hair. “I’ve never thought about having one of my own, let alone watching one for someone else. I’d probably just wind up messing him up somehow.”

“Please? He’s just a puppy, Seungkwan. I’ve been letting him crash at my place for the past week or so, but you know I’m not home that much with how much I have to travel for work. It isn’t fair to just leave him alone all the time,” Hansol said quietly, and Seungkwan hated how just the shift in the tone of his voice was already making him debate on changing his mind. “It would just be for a couple weeks until he gets a new adoption application.”

“I still don’t really think this is a good idea.”

“Why not? I think you’d be a good match. You’re both talkative and he’d probably be a good source of grounding for you whenever you have problems with work or get into one of your overdramatic episodes.”

Seungkwan squinted at him. “What are you saying? I’m not overdramatic.”

Hansol just stared back, looking at him in complete disbelief. “Seungkwan, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you are literally one of the most chaotic people I have ever met.”

Seungkwan just scoffed, arms coming to fold defensively over his chest.

“C’mon, Seungkwan, _please?_ It’ll just be for a little while and then he’ll be out of your hair. I literally don’t have anyone else to ask at this point and I don’t want him home alone all the time either,” Hansol continued, his eyes officially round and shiny, like they always were when Hansol was on the cusp of begging, and like always, Seungkwan could feel himself caving. He could never say no to Hansol to begin with and that _look_ he had wasn’t helping manners either. “For me?”

“ _Fine_ ,” Seungkwan at last sighed out in defeat, hands massaging at his temples. God, he was pathetic.

Hansol immediately brightened at that, lips pulling into a beaming smile, teeth on display. Seungkwan was pretty sure his eyes were twinkling too. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Seungkwan replied, voice hardly above a mutter. His head was starting to ache, fatigued and overwhelmed. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

“You’re the best, Seungkwan,” Hansol said gleefully, still grinning widely. “I owe you big time. It’ll be fine, I promise. He’s really sweet, just a big lovable fluffball; I doubt you’ll have any problems.”

Seungkwan wasn’t too sure about that, and the way it suddenly felt like there was a rock settled in the pit of his stomach wasn’t doing him any favors either. His appetite was gone, instead replaced by this odd mesh of anxiety and queasiness.

It left him picking at his food with disinterest, Hansol’s voice watered down in his ears. He felt like he was going to vomit. Dates and days of the week came out of Hansol’s mouth and Seungkwan just nodded along in agreement to whatever plans he made, officially absent mentally from the conversation. He took a deep breath and tried to swallow down the weird lump of panic in his throat.

He didn’t know what the hell he was getting himself into and the fact it was something so foreign and unknown absolutely terrified him.

* * *

Time trickled away much slower than normal, as if taunting Seungkwan somehow, leaving the anticipation stewing brutally in his gut. The weekend passed, Monday even slower, and finally, Tuesday arrived. Today was the day. Hansol was supposed to bring _the hybrid_ over to his apartment after he finished his shift for work, and nerves had left Seungkwan feeling nauseous for majority of the day as he waited for the fateful moment to arrive.

He was anxious and he knew it, but how could he not be? He knew absolutely nothing about taking care of a hybrid and he had never once thought about having one of his own. The hybrid wasn’t even in his care yet and Seungkwan was already severely stressed out. It was probably too late to tell Hansol he had changed his mind, but if he was being honest with himself, he had thought about doing it a couple times. It wasn’t like he wanted to let Hansol down or anything, but at the same time, he felt like he was getting way in over his head. He had literally no idea what he was doing. Hybrids were different from pets, like normal cats and dogs; they needed more attention, more structure, more _everything._ Seungkwan could barely keep the plants on his balcony alive, so how the hell was he going to take care of a hybrid for, at _minimum_ , a few weeks?

He raked his hands through his hair before smooshing them over his face, groaning into the skin.

He thought about trying to stay busy by finding something to do to pass the remaining time, but he had already scrubbed down his apartment to make a good first impression, and with the anxiety melting his brain he couldn’t really focus on anything for too long anyway. He instead opted for lying on his couch, trying to ignore how his mind was going around a hundred miles an hour and how if he suffocated himself with one of his couch cushions, he wouldn’t have any responsibilities.

…Maybe Hansol was right, he was a smidge overdramatic.

Eventually, the time came, and Seungkwan jumped when there was a buzz from his callbox. When Seungkwan at last forced himself to get up so that he could let Hansol in, he honestly wanted to puke. His stomach felt like it was in knots, but, after standing in the entranceway for a moment and, in the midst of some deep breaths, mentally telling himself to get a grip, he forced himself to open the door.

Hansol’s face greeted him first, cheeks slightly pink from the winter air outside his apartment building. His lips were curled into one of those big happy smiles as little snowflakes remained dusted in his hair. He was holding a duffle bag in one hand, too. “Hey.”

Seungkwan opened his mouth to respond, but inconveniently, his brain decided that was the perfect time to process the fact there was someone else standing there beside his friend. Well, _partially_ beside him. He was taller than Hansol by an obvious margin, but he was scrunched up into himself, shoulders practically digging into his ears as he tried his hardest to hide behind Hansol, despite his size.

He was practically clinging to Hansol as well, one gloved hand tightly wrapped around one of Hansol’s own as his remaining one clutched the back of his winter coat. His eyelashes were damp and cheeks flushed, lips a little chapped too. He was looking at Seungkwan with practically _terrified_ eyes, and Seungkwan just stared back at him, mouth agape from losing his train of thought, too busy focused on the two floppy ears protruding from the man’s hair.

Hansol cleared his throat, trying to bring Seungkwan back to reality in the nicest way possible. “Er… This is Mingyu. The hybrid I was telling you about…?”

Seungkwan at last snapped back into his body, mind still reeling as he peeled his weight off of the doorframe. “Ah, that’s—right. Right. Um, I’m Seungkwan, one of Hansol’s friends,” he babbled, unsure who he was really talking to at this point.

He opened the door a little wider as he said this, signaling it was fine for the pair to come inside. He was internally kicking himself though, because this had to be one of the most awkward introductions, possibly conversations in general, he had ever had. Hansol made no comments on it though, instead stepping forward to enter, but was met with resistance when Mingyu remained rooted to the floor, refusing to budge nor let go of Hansol’s hand. The only explanation they received was a low whine from somewhere deep inside the hybrid’s throat.

Hansol just sighed, seeming a touch annoyed, as if he had been through this a hundred times already. But he kept his voice level regardless, not wanting to scare Mingyu any further. “C’mon, we need to go. Seungkwan is harmless; he’s not going to bother you.”

Mingyu didn’t respond to that, merely keeping his head down, but he obediently followed Hansol, seeming to be taking the comment as a command. Seungkwan gave them some breathing room, hovering awkwardly nearby as the two of them began to take off their shoes, mentally noting that Mingyu had his tail tucked between his legs.

“He’s nervous,” Hansol commented, completely unpromoted, as he began to peel off his coat. He had to let go of Mingyu’s hand for this, and Seungkwan didn’t miss the way Mingyu quickly clasped his hands together, fidgety and seeming unsure of what to do with them as he waited for Hansol to finish removing his outerwear. “He’s a bit… _intimidated_ , by people he doesn’t know.”

Seungkwan wasn’t sure if intimidated was the correct term; the hybrid seemed downright scared shitless. He watched Mingyu copy what Hansol was doing, taking his coat off and then his scarf before hanging them up neatly beside Hansol’s on the rack. While he was doing this, Hansol handed over the duffle bag that he had been holding to Seungkwan.

“This is the stuff for him that Seokmin gave me. His clothes, his favorite blanket, toys, and he’s really into, you know, brain puzzles and that sort of thing so there’s some books and stuff in there too,” Hansol was rambling, and Seungkwan was still so overwhelmed by the entire situation that Hansol’s words were all jumbling together in his brain as he just stared stupidly at the bag he was now holding. “He likes to do things with his hands, you know? He doesn’t have a collar yet, by the way, so we need to work on getting him one.”

“Oh,” was all Seungkwan could say, already feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed. Hansol brushed past him, and Mingyu was hot on his heels, trailing after him as if he wasn’t sure what to do with himself otherwise. Hoping that finding him something to do would help calm him down a little, Seungkwan jumped on the opportunity. “Mingyu, do you want me to show you where your room is so you can unpack?”

Glued to Hansol’s side yet again, Mingyu just stared at Seungkwan for a long moment at the question. He didn’t seem sure of how to respond; Seungkwan had _asked_ him, not made a command, after all. Visibly unsure of what to do, he instead just glanced over at Hansol, fingers of his left hand still clamped around Hansol’s own for support.

Unfazed, Hansol only gave him a nudge, near the base of his spine, with his free hand. “Go ahead.”

With that, Mingyu finally peeled himself away from Hansol for the first time since he had set foot in Seungkwan’s apartment. Maybe in another scenario it’d be cute how clingy he was being, but it was just making Seungkwan feel _bad_ for him. He was obviously so anxious he was struggling to function by himself, rather than as a unit with someone else, and when he followed Seungkwan down the hall, he kept an obvious distance, too intimidated to get any closer.

“I’m still working on redecorating,” Seungkwan blurted, unsure if he was just making things more tense by trying to have a conversation, but all he could do was try. Besides, the silence was driving him crazy. “So… Things are a bit messy right now, but I think it’ll work for the time being… At least until we can find something more comfortable for you.”

He doubted Mingyu would want to share a room with him, and Seungkwan wasn’t particularly fond of the idea either. They didn’t even know each other just yet, and with how spooked Mingyu seemed of him already, it would probably just make everything worse. In the meantime, he had managed to convert part of his workroom into a space for Mingyu. It was originally designed to be a bedroom when Seungkwan had moved in, but he had wound up gutting it to instead turn it into an office. Well, mostly an office, but he supposed it was a bit of a hodge-podge of things; actual work, his hobbies, et cetera. There was some furniture he had moved around, and he had folded out the futon that had been against one wall to make it into a makeshift bed for now. It wasn’t fancy, but it would be sufficient.

“You can just set your things wherever you’d like,” Seungkwan said, swiveling on his heel to leave the room. “Hansol and I are going to make dinner, so you can just take your time and come out when you’re ready. Sounds good?”

He seemed a bit unsure, but Mingyu nodded anyway, taking the bag from Seungkwan when it was offered to him. Deciding to give him a bit of privacy, Seungkwan slipped through the doorway, a little relieved to find that Mingyu wasn’t following him like he had done with Hansol earlier. Still, he found himself raking his fingers through his bangs as he headed towards the kitchen, something he had a tendency to do when he was stressed about something. It didn’t take long for Hansol to notice it, perking up when Seungkwan shuffled into the room.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“He seems _petrified,_ that’s what’s wrong,” Seungkwan replied, fingers combing restlessly through his hair. He was stressed, but he was trying to keep his voice down, not wanting to potentially upset Mingyu by talking about him behind his back like this. “How exactly is this going to work?”

Hansol just sighed. He heaved himself up from the table and stepped closer to Seungkwan, hovering nearby in case he needed help getting any supplies or ingredients out for them to start cooking. “It isn’t anything personal, Seungkwan… He’s just scared.”

“That’s my point. He’s absolutely terrified so how is this going to be a good setup for him?” Seungkwan continued, closing the door of the refrigerator with a little more force than he intended.

“I think the two of you will get along fine, it’s more so just trying to get him to feel safe,” Hansol murmured. He gave Seungkwan a _look,_ like he was debating on whether or not to continue, biting at the corner of his lip before he finally spit it out. “Mingyu’s been through three homes, Seungkwan. Technically four, if you include me.”

Seungkwan paused at that, head whipping sideways to stare at Hansol. “What? But you said he’s just a puppy.”

“He is just a puppy, but he’s already been bounced around a lot. Listen… Mingyu’s genetics makes him a bit of a tricky situation. He’s half Great Dane and half Australian Shepherd, which means he’s a high-energy dog that needs a lot of play and attention, physically and mentally. He wasn’t given either of those in his first home and Seokmin said after that, he’s been having anxiety problems ever since,” Hansol said softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “And that’s why he’s been through so many homes. People don’t really grasp that with his genes he’s more work than other breeds of dog hybrids… And since he wasn’t properly socialized or allowed to expel his energy in a healthy way, it’s just kinda warped inward, so now he’s nervous all the time and scared of everything. Seokmin has had a hard time finding him a permanent home because he’s just very active and really anxious.”

It felt like the world had come crashing down on him, and Seungkwan wanted to scream, already stretched paper thin from not sleeping properly over the past few days, this whole situation, and now _that_ on top of it. “You didn’t think to tell me this earlier? Hansol, what do you expect me to do here? You know I have zero experience with hybrids in general and now—”

“You’re the best shot he’s ever had, Seungkwan,” Hansol gently interjected, his face twisted up in a wry smile. “You at least work from home, so he’ll have someone around. Like I said, he’s high-energy and needs company. He’s used to being left at home alone all day, which is just asking for trouble with him, since he already has issues with being anxious. I think he’ll be happier here. Once he gets used to you a little more, you could probably ask Jisoo or Jihoon if they’d be okay with him coming over for a playdate. I think having him socialize with others when he’s still a puppy would be a much safer option than waiting too long, then it being too late.”

Seungkwan just sighed, feeling suddenly exhausted down to the bone.

“I’m gone all the time for work, so it wouldn’t be fair for him to just sit at home all over again with no one around,” Hansol continued, one hand splaying out across the surface of Seungkwan’s upper back. “I wouldn’t have asked you if I knew you couldn’t handle it.”

Seungkwan didn’t bother to shrug him off, instead just rolling his eyes. “You’re lucky I love you so much, otherwise the answer would still be no.”

Hansol just laughed, and Seungkwan was sure he felt a little part of him die with it, as his comments were glossed over as always.

* * *

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Hansol had pitched in to help him cook, which was appreciated, and a bit nostalgic in a way. It reminded Seungkwan of those high school days where they would have sleepovers on the weekends and make awful meals at two a.m. solely because of cravings.

Mingyu sat next to Hansol, the pair across the table from Seungkwan. It was mainly Seungkwan and Hansol chatting together as Mingyu just sat there listening to them, seeming too nervous to actually try to contribute. Even though he had been in the apartment for a few hours, he still hadn’t said a single word, which was starting to bring back Seungkwan’s worries. He had no idea how the hybrid was going to function in general, especially when Hansol left. He was eating at least, so that was a good start, as his nerves weren’t so horrible that it made him feel sick and stole away his appetite. Still, he couldn’t help but think back to the previous conversation he had with Hansol before he had brought Mingyu into his life. He was apparently a very active, talkative, cuddly puppy, but… All Seungkwan saw was a quiet and scared boy that was too anxious to even speak to him.

His heart ached.

Hansol ran through some more information with him as they ate, talking about how Mingyu was already in the adoption program’s database, so Seungkwan would essentially be fostering him until someone wanted to make Mingyu their hybrid officially. He didn’t have any allergies that Hansol was aware of, thank god, _‘but you can’t give him chocolate, obviously, since he’s a dog’_ , he rambled as he scooped more rice onto Mingyu’s plate for him, so that was one less thing to worry about. He did seem to be scared of heights but with how tall he was, at least Seungkwan wouldn’t have to worry about him using his stepladder for something and getting stuck.

The evening began to wind down eventually. The two of them went ahead and tackled the dirty dishes and decided to invite Mingyu to help, as well, in an attempt of getting him a bit more acclimated to all the changes. Seungkwan let him dry the dishes off after Hansol washed them, and despite Mingyu dropping one on the floor and breaking it – _he’s clumsy_ , Hansol whispered in his ear, and Seungkwan tried to ignore how his breath tickled against his skin – things were overall a success.

Seungkwan paused in putting the dishes away to clean up the pieces, not blind to the way Mingyu watched him with wide, nervous eyes as he did so, as if he was waiting for Seungkwan to react further, to yell, to do _something_. He went back to tending to the dishes at Hansol’s urging, but kept stealing little glances, not seeming comforted.

Seungkwan stared at the remnants in the dustpan, hearing Hansol’s murmurs of _it’s okay, Mingyu, he’s not mad_ echoing oddly in his ears. He lifted his head for one moment to gaze at Mingyu, then glanced back down at the shards, unable to help feeling like he was being faced with some sort of symbolism.

He tried and failed to shake the thought from his mind.

* * *

When Hansol went to the entranceway to grab his coat to leave, things began to unravel.

Mingyu tried to put on his coat too, but Hansol, as gently as he could, put his hand over Mingyu’s own to stop him. “Mingyu, we talked about this earlier, remember? You have to stay with Seungkwan.”

Frozen, Mingyu just stood there for a long moment, watching in horror as Hansol shrugged on his coat. It seemed to be fully sinking in that Hansol was leaving without him, and Seungkwan bit his lip, watching the entire scene unfold before him with a heavy heart.

“I’ll come see you in a couple days, okay?” Hansol coaxed, squeezing Mingyu’s hands in his own. “I’ll be back to check on you, I promise.”

Pulling his hands away, Mingyu instead flung himself forward, enveloping Hansol entirely in a bone-crushing hug. His chin was digging harshly into Hansol’s shoulder as he desperately clutched handfuls of the man’s coat in his fingers, as if trying to anchor him into place, but it wasn’t working.

Hansol broke the hug eventually, offering Mingyu a rather sad sort of smile as he patted the hybrid’s forearms comfortingly. “You’ll be good for Seungkwan, right? I’ll see you soon.”

And in that one moment, Seungkwan could tell that the last of Mingyu’s world had crumbled into pieces. He didn’t say anything, but Seungkwan could see his lip wobbling as he tried to keep himself together. Hansol was starting to step out of the apartment now, offering a wave and a goodbye to Seungkwan before giving the same to Mingyu.

The door at last clicked shut, and a heavy silence fell upon the apartment.

Seungkwan just stood there awkwardly for a long moment, unsure of what to say or do, but he didn’t have to think about it for too long. A meager thirty seconds passed before Mingyu suddenly let out a heartbroken whine, starting to fidget again as he stared helplessly at the door, visibly anxious over the fact that Hansol had left without him. His tail tucked between his legs as he shrank in on himself.

When the door remained closed with no sign of Hansol coming back, the whimpering started. Vaguely reminded of an actual puppy with separation anxiety, Seungkwan stepped forward to place a hand on Mingyu’s forearm in an attempt of comforting him. It, unfortunately, seemed to have the opposite effect though, as Mingyu cringed away from him, not making eye contact as he proceeded to sink to the floor on his haunches, folding himself up into the smallest shape he could manage.

Before Seungkwan could react, Mingyu proceeded to bury his face into his knees, and burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: i know it's been about 2 years, but i guess i'm finally back and writing again? hi, i missed this a lot. did you miss me? ♡  
> 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/vicaniyun) [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/vicaniyun)


	2. Chapter 2

Mingyu cried, and cried, and _cried._

Seungkwan felt so completely and utterly lost, watching the hybrid have a complete meltdown in the middle of his living room and unsure what he could even do about it. Mingyu cringed away from him whenever Seungkwan tried to touch him, despite how clingy he had been with Hansol. Seungkwan wasn’t Hansol, and Mingyu therefore did not trust him, obviously, but he couldn’t help but feel a spark of anger in his chest because Hansol was the entire reason the hybrid was crying in the first place.

Everything just felt so overwhelming, and Seungkwan could feel himself crumbling, his throat closing up.

Seungkwan’s mind was a whirlwind, his body growing hot with a mesh of negative emotions. He was tired, stressed, and suddenly just so fucking _angry,_ rage boiling low in his throat and burning into his hands. He didn’t even know _why_ he was suddenly so pissed off, his body just feeling so battered underneath the weight of his problems, his life. It was like he was getting completely steamrolled at this point, suffocating under the pressure of work and lack of sleep and relationships and having a hybrid suddenly dumped on him was not helping _at all._ He had been so strung-out for days and with this stranger in house crying on his damn floor with Seungkwan having absolutely zero luck getting him to stop was the final breaking point.

And, god, he was angry at Hansol for putting him in this situation to begin with too, he was angry at Hansol for making Mingyu cry even if it was unintentional, and he was angry at how pathetic and downright useless he felt underneath all the emotions thrumming around in his veins because no matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to get Mingyu to just _stop crying._

He was even angrier at himself for allowing it all to happen.

He felt like he was going to tear out of his own skin, overwhelmed, and Seungkwan just wanted to scream. But, by some miracle, he somehow managed to hold it in, choking down the lump in his throat as he turned away to head into the hallway of his apartment. He came back with a blanket he had dragged out of the closet a few moments later and he draped it over Mingyu’s sobbing figure with shaking hands. Mingyu didn’t flinch away from him, by some miracle, but it was Seungkwan who immediately recoiled, merely leaving the hybrid on the floor to cry it all out as Seungkwan retreated to his room. He had done all he could. If Mingyu wouldn’t allow him to help, all Seungkwan could do was try to comfort from a distance and let him have his space.

He collapsed onto his bed on his stomach, burying his face into his pillow. His eyes were stinging and painful as Seungkwan tried to keep the tears of anger and frustration from falling.

He failed, and his body shook as the droplets dribbled into his pillowcase.

* * *

Seungkwan didn’t remember falling asleep. He blearily cracked his eyes open later that evening with a throbbing headache and the skin beneath his eyelids all sticky and disgusting. He felt like he had been hit by a truck, dizzy and disoriented. He somehow felt a bit better though, now that he had gotten some of the weight off his chest. He had quite the talent for feeling emotions deeply, which was honestly both a blessing and a curse, especially when he struggled to vocalize how he truly felt and just wound up having a meltdown instead.

Seungkwan groaned as he sat up, the pulsing in his skull magnifying at the change in angle. The apartment was eerily quiet, and that was enough to force him out of bed. He had to go check on Mingyu. The silence was uncomfortable, especially with how upset the hybrid had been earlier. Seungkwan wanted to be selfish, he wanted to lick at his wounds alone, but he had to be responsible, even if he didn’t desire to.

He poked his head out of his bedroom. Nothing. Quiet, dark, aside from the light Seungkwan had left on in the living room, its glow rubbing against the corners of the hallway in the distance. Seungkwan opened his bedroom door a bit more and went to step outside, not bothering to take in his surroundings, and therefore immediately tripped.

He muttered a curse under his breath as he stumbled, a hand palming at the wall so he thankfully didn’t bust his ass. He glanced down, irritated, but paused as he realized he had tripped over a blanket. He immediately recognized it as the one he had given Mingyu earlier. It was folded neatly into a little rectangle, set against the wall outside of his door before he had accidentally slipped over it.

He glanced over at the door of his office. It was closed. He couldn’t see any light coming out from underneath the door where the small gap resided, so it must have been dark in there, too. He stood there for a long moment and just listened, but he couldn’t hear anything. Mingyu had been borderline sobbing earlier, so the silence was a little comforting, because it meant if Mingyu _was_ still crying, he was still doing better than he was a couple hours ago. Who knew, maybe he was asleep.

Seungkwan wondered if he should knock, having that little niggling feeling in his stomach that was trying to convince him to actually _do_ something, but at the same time, he didn’t want to suffocate the hybrid either. He was in a brand-new environment with a stranger and was obviously upset. Seungkwan didn’t want to add anymore fuel to the fire.

He’d give him some space, and they could talk tomorrow.

* * *

Morning came eventually and Seungkwan was just as tired as he was the day before. He hadn’t slept much last night either, stressed out and more than just a little worried about the dog hybrid residing in the other room. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, and even though he didn’t have to start work for a few hours, Seungkwan rolled out of bed, a ball of dread settled low in his gut.

He paused in the hallway for a second, staring at the closed door of his office. _Get it together, Seungkwan,_ he mentally commanded himself, and, with a deep breath, he shuffled over.

He did still find himself awkwardly standing there for a long moment though, mentally debating on whether or not he should open the door. It was _his_ apartment, but he somehow felt like he was about to intrude if he went inside. Still, he needed to check on Mingyu… The dog hybrid had been extremely upset the night before when Hansol had left. Seungkwan just hoped today would be better.

Biting down on his lip, Seungkwan gripped the doorknob in one hand. He then braced his shoulder against the door, and, as gently and quietly as he could, he pushed. The door clicked open and once there was just a big enough gap for him to see through, Seungkwan poked his head in to take a look.

And immediately, his heart shattered.

There was a single window in the office. With daybreak, the morning sun was starting to squeeze into the room, gold painting across spots of the floorboards. It was enough light for him to easily pick out Mingyu as well, and Seungkwan almost wished he couldn’t see him, because the sight of the hybrid was downright depressing.

Mingyu was rolled over onto one side, and even with his knees bent a little, his feet were still hanging off the edge of the bed. He momentarily remembered that Hansol had mentioned Mingyu was still a puppy; Seungkwan didn’t know if that meant he was going to get any bigger, and that thought alone scared him.

It looked like he had been tossing and turning all night. The sheet and quilt Seungkwan had given him were twisted horribly and strewn everywhere. There was a red blanket tossed haphazardly over his torso; it must have been the one he had packed in his duffle bag that Hansol had mentioned to him yesterday. There was something tucked underneath one of his arms too, what looked like some kind of stuffed animal, but Seungkwan couldn’t tell for sure. He couldn’t really focus on that anyway, not when Mingyu’s face looked the way it did at the moment.

His face was a bit bloated and his eyes, though closed, were visibly swollen. The corners were abnormally red and there were tear tracks dried messily on his cheekbones. It was obvious that he had rubbed the skin nearly raw from trying to scrub away his tears when they fell, and had eventually just gave up and instead cried himself to sleep.

Heart heavy in his chest, Seungkwan closed the door.

* * *

Seungkwan was curled up on the couch with his laptop on his thighs when he saw Mingyu again. Well, _sort_ of. He had been so engrossed in his own little world that he hadn’t heard the hybrid get up at all or even noticed him until he felt like something was staring at him. When he glanced up, Mingyu was standing in the doorway, watching him, and Seungkwan visibly jumped, clamping a startled hand over his chest.

“You scared me,” Seungkwan laughed out awkwardly, lowering his feet onto the floor. “I didn’t even know you were awake. Did you sleep well?”

Mingyu just stood there for a long moment, as if debating on telling him the truth or not, before he at last shook his head. No, he hadn’t. Seungkwan knew that. He could tell just by looking at him. Mingyu must have washed his face because the tear stains were gone but his eyes were still puffy and red.

Seungkwan just gave him a wry smile. “I didn’t either. We can be tired together.”

Mingyu’s face fell further at that, breaking all eye contact to instead start staring at the floor.

“No, it’s okay! It’s not your fault,” Seungkwan immediately blurted, shaking his head rapidly in panic. God, he was so _stupid._ Open mouth, insert foot. Mingyu had finally managed to stop crying, too, and if he started again, Seungkwan wouldn’t be able to handle it. “It’s just—A lot. There’s been a lot going on lately, you know?”

A nod. Nothing more. Seungkwan bit his lip as he put his laptop down on the coffee table and stood. Mingyu watched him do so with nervous eyes, not moving a single muscle, as if unsure of what to do with himself.

“You must be hungry. C’mon, we can make breakfast,” Seungkwan murmured, before he paused. “I mean—If you want to, of course.”

One more nod. Okay, this was…good. Awkward, but Seungkwan would take it. This was a start, at least. He was just glad he managed to hold back a sigh of relief when he realized Mingyu was following him into the kitchen. He wasn’t nearly as close to him as he had been with Hansol, keeping an obvious distance between them, but it was fine. Everything would be fine. Right?

* * *

Seungkwan tried to make small talk while they made breakfast, but that didn’t go very well. Mingyu still wasn’t speaking to him, which meant Seungkwan had to rely mostly on yes or no questions, because anything requiring a more elaborate response went unanswered. He felt like a fool; he was social by nature and unaccustomed to so much silence from someone he was trying to chat with. It was an abstract concept to him and Seungkwan didn’t know how to handle it, so by the time they sat down to start eating, he found himself trailing off gracelessly and into an awkward silence.

Ten minutes, fifteen. Seungkwan’s stomach churned with a weird sense of nerves, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t like him, because he normally had zero issues talking to people, but Mingyu was… Different. Seungkwan didn’t know how to act around him, didn’t know how much pushing was too much, didn’t know _anything_ about him either.

Mingyu sat across from him at the table again. His face was blank, eyes a little unfocused as he slowly scooped up his food. Seungkwan couldn’t read him and he couldn’t stop staring at Mingyu’s hands. His nails didn’t look healthy, visibly chewed down and the skin around them was a faint red color that matched the sweater he was wearing.

“I bite them.”

The sentence was so sudden and unexpected that Seungkwan dropped his spoon. The resounding _clang_ of it hitting the edge of his plate seemed miles away in Seungkwan’s ears. Completely dumbfounded, Seungkwan just stared at Mingyu for a long moment, unsure if he had just hallucinated because—he _finally_ spoke.

“What?” Seungkwan then deadpanned, unsure if he had even heard correctly.

“My nails. I bite them,” Mingyu repeated, his voice quiet and hesitant. He didn’t dare glance up from his nearly empty plate, too intimidated to look Seungkwan in the eye. “I saw you looking at them.”

“Oh, I—Sorry,” Seungkwan babbled, trying to fight the urge to just slam his head onto the table because his face was turning red from being called out. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

“I don’t realize I’m doing it,” Mingyu mumbled instead, not answering Seungkwan’s question. He assumed the answer was yes. “Sorry. I know it looks gross.”

“What? No, you don’t have to apologize. I was just curious,” Seungkwan said quickly, still having whiplash over the entire situation. Mingyu _could_ talk and he was speaking in complete sentences too. Mingyu moved the one hand he wasn’t using to hold his utensils, letting it slide off the table and hide away in his lap so Seungkwan couldn’t see it anymore. The way he had so little confidence in himself made Seungkwan’s chest ache. He paused, uncertain if he was treading too deep, but he decided to push anyway, not sure if he would have another chance. “You probably are about a lot of things too, aren’t you?”

Mingyu was silent for a long moment. Seungkwan wasn’t sure he was going to get a response at all, that they were back to Mingyu being selectively mute all over again, when the hybrid spoke up in a voice so quiet Seungkwan almost couldn’t hear him. “Are you still mad at me?”

“What?” Seungkwan said yet again, visibly confused, “I’m not mad at you.”

“You _smelled_ mad,” Mingyu blurted, still not looking up to meet his gaze, but Seungkwan could see his grip tightening on his spoon, how his fingers were shaking, like he was terrified to say something. His voice was trembling, “We—It’s like pet dogs, how they can sense mood. People smell different when they’re mad or upset.”

Seungkwan’s mind was reeling. He knew dogs had a good sense of smell, apparently canine hybrids too, but _emotions?_ That was also the most he had ever heard Mingyu say at once and the way the hybrid put his spoon down to bury his face in his hands definitely wasn’t helping the torrent of emotions pummeling his brain.

“Mingyu, I’m not mad at you,” Seungkwan repeated, hearing a faint sniff from behind Mingyu’s hands. God, no wonder Mingyu flinched away from him last night. Seungkwan had unintentionally scared the hell out of him with his pheromones on full blast. “I _was_ angry, yes… But it wasn’t about you. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I thought you were mad at me because I broke your plate and then because I wouldn’t stop crying,” Mingyu mumbled, his voice muffled by the skin of his palms. “I’m not trying to be annoying, honest. I’m just—I’m scared and I miss Hansol and…”

“Mingyu—Don’t, you aren’t annoying at all,” Seungkwan said quietly, wondering if Mingyu could hear the sound of his heart crumbling too. Seungkwan wasn’t sure if he had ever met someone this broken in his entire life. Had Hansol not seen this side of him, or just decided not to mention it? “It was just a plate, and it was an accident. I can’t be mad about that. And crying is _normal._ You don’t have to apologize for something like that.”

Mingyu lowered his hands. The rims of his eyes had turned red and they were glassy with unshed tears he was visibly holding. “If you weren’t mad at me… Then why?”

Seungkwan blinked at that question, pausing. He wasn’t sure how to even explain because he didn’t fully comprehend it himself. It just came on so suddenly and he couldn’t stomach it. It just felt like the entire world came crashing down on his chest until he was on the cusp of suffocating, a set of dominos collapsing. He just shrugged lamely, feeling weirdly self-conscious and unable to meet Mingyu’s eyes.

“I don’t know. It… Just sort of piled up on me, I guess. I haven’t been sleeping well, I’m tired, I’m stressed out from…various things… I think my brain just sort of imploded… I guess. But you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise,” Seungkwan mumbled. He watched as Mingyu blinked at him a couple times, thankfully the tears melting away in the process before they could start falling. “Sorry, that… Probably didn’t answer your question at all. Did it?”

“It’s okay,” Mingyu said, tucking his hands into his lap, the fidgeting starting again, “I think I get it. Hansol told me you aren’t good at talking about your feelings.”

“He did?” Well, there went another round of whiplash. Seungkwan blinked at him rapidly, unsure if he had heard correctly. He had, apparently, because Mingyu just nodded in response. Seungkwan squinted at him suspiciously. “What else did he say about me?”

“He said I have to be careful around you sometimes because you snore if you’re tired, are the only person he knows to be up at three a.m. dancing in their room to bad top forty songs from 1997, and I shouldn’t let you borrow any of my clothes because he lent you a hoodie in eleventh grade and you never gave it back,” Mingyu recited, cocking his head quizzically to one side. “I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that last part, though, so don’t tell him I said that.”

He was so taken aback that he actually laughed. Seungkwan ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “He’s such an ass sometimes. Don’t believe a word he says. I’m an absolute delight.”

He still had around half an hour before he had to log on for work, so he couldn’t use the ‘running late for more urgent matters’ excuse like he normally did to get away with just dumping all his dishes in the sink for the future him to worry about. Mingyu had pushed his chair back too, padding quietly after him with his own dirty dishes, which Seungkwan took from him without comment. Mingyu then hovered nearby from what he deemed to be a safe distance, absently pulling his sweater sleeves over his hands.

“Have you really known Hansol since eleventh grade?” he asked. Seungkwan could barely hear him over the sound of the water rushing out of the faucet.

“I think I was fifteen when I met him,” Seungkwan replied, scrubbing meticulously at one of the plates, “but I’m currently the ripe old age of twenty-five so I can’t remember it very well since it was, like, ten years ago. I’m surprised Hansol remembers that I stole his jacket at all. He can’t even remember what he ate for breakfast two days ago.”

He still had it somewhere in his closet, now that he thought about it.

“Oh,” Mingyu said quietly, “I haven’t known anyone that long.”

“How old are you?” Seungkwan asked him, head swiveling to steal a glance at him. He frowned. Mingyu was picking at a stray thread on his sweater. “Stop pulling on that, it’ll unravel.”

Mingyu looked a little hurt at the command, but he did as he was told, letting go. It seemed like an improvement until Seungkwan noticed he was now fidgeting. He clearly needed to keep his hands busy, so Seungkwan offered him one of the cleaned, wet plates, which Mingyu readily accepted, not objecting in the slightest to helping Seungkwan dry them. “I’m twenty.”

“Oh my god, you’re a _baby_ ,” Seungkwan gasped, looking Mingyu up and down. “Are you at least done growing? You already make me feel like an ant, I don’t think I can handle it if you get any taller.”

“I’m done. I’m just still considered a puppy because I’m not twenty-one yet, that’s all…” Mingyu pursed his lips unhappily, voice trembling a little as he pushed back, “I’m not a baby.”

“You aren’t an old man like me so yes, I am therefore classifying you as a baby,” Seungkwan said, letting out a chuckle when he realized Mingyu was pouting. “I’m just picking on you. You actually remind me of a friend of mine. Er, well, sort of… My friend’s hybrid, Wonwoo. He’s about a year older than you.”

He didn’t miss how Mingyu visibly perked up at that. “You know other hybrids?”

“A few, yeah. I mean, I know a lot of people who have hybrids, but I’m not really close to any of them except a small handful,” Seungkwan explained. “If you wanted to play with someone a bit more like you, I do have a different friend who has a dog hybrid, too, named Seungcheol. He’s a bit older than me. I know dogs and cats are a bit different, so,” a shrug, “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind meeting you. I just don’t want you to get overwhelmed since you’re already adjusting to a lot of other things.”

Mingyu nodded, visibly brighter at hearing this information, corners of his lips curled up in a little smile. Seungkwan had to admit, he was cute, and the fact he didn’t seem so sad anymore was a huge relief.

“Someone seems excited,” he said with a soft laugh, turning off the faucet.

“Mm. Humans aren’t all bad… Getting to hang out with others like us is just different,” Mingyu explained quietly, wiping down the final plate with slow movements, “I didn’t get to play with other hybrids at my last home… Hansol let me play with Soonyoung sometimes though when I was at his house. Do you know him? He lived upstairs on the floor above us. Tabby cat, big orange ears.”

“I—Yeah, I know him,” Seungkwan stuttered. They weren’t close, but Seungkwan had seen him a few times in passing and had talked to him when he and his owner Junhui came to Hansol’s apartment for parties or random weekend hangouts. The last time Seungkwan had interacted with him was when the two of them had been sitting next to each other on Hansol’s couch, and Soonyoung had fallen asleep before starting to purr against his side, which was…an experience, to say the least. That wasn’t his focus though, because still struggling to process what Mingyu had just said. “Hang on, you weren’t allowed to play with other hybrids?”

“No, it wasn’t like that. I just didn’t know any hybrids so I didn’t have anyone to play with,” Mingyu explained, visibly crestfallen, his tail drooping pathetically behind him. “It was kinda just _us._ We didn’t do playdates or anything and I didn’t know a lot of people that lived near us. So, when you said you know hybrids, I got really happy… I don’t remember the last time I got to play with another hybrid, aside from Soonyoung.”

Oh, he had such a bad feeling in his stomach. Seungkwan swallowed dryly, noticing how Mingyu was just staring at the floor now, a total one-eighty from how he had been a few minutes ago. He felt awful all of a sudden, like he had just ruined a rare, bright moment by opening his big mouth again. He didn’t know if he was treading too deep, but he had to ask. “Mingyu…”

But it was as if Mingyu could tell he was trying to pry deeper, because the hybrid suddenly shook his head roughly, his black and white spotted ears flopping with the jerky movement. “Don’t—I—I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Seungkwan just sighed slowly through his nose. What choice did he have? “Alright. Well… If you ever do, I’ll listen.”

He had to start working in a few minutes, so Seungkwan excused himself after they cleaned up the kitchen. He wasn’t particularly fond of the way Mingyu followed him, but then again, this was now his residence too and there was only but so much room in the apartment for them to share. Plus, his little area in Seungkwan’s office was the only _real_ space he could call his own, so Seungkwan really couldn’t find it in him to get too annoyed when Mingyu followed him into his office and settled into his little corner where his makeshift bed was.

It was temporary, thankfully. Seungkwan was dragging his supplies around like a madman, trying to get his headset plugged in for an upcoming meeting that he had completely forgotten about with everything else overwhelming him. He could see Mingyu out of the corner of his eye, how he dug around in his duffle bag before taking something out and then, as silently as he could, as if not to bother him, padded out of the office. He even closed the door behind himself, and if Seungkwan hadn’t been paying attention, he wouldn’t have even noticed, because Mingyu barely made a sound at all.

Seungkwan wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he hoped whatever it was would keep him busy for a couple hours until he had a break for lunch, because he had meetings and deadlines and having Mingyu hover over him while he tried to get things accomplished would just be a recipe for disaster.

Still, having him out of his sight made him feel a little uneasy, as much as he hated to admit it.

Lost in his own thoughts, drumming his fingers against the desk with the annoying hold music playing through his headset while he waited for the remainder of his coworkers to join the call, Seungkwan jumped when his phone suddenly vibrated loudly next to his laptop. He had almost forgotten he had grabbed it on the way into the room, and he knew having his phone right there in his workspace was just asking for trouble, but hey, sometimes he just needed something to rot his brain a little when he was stuck on long, boring calls like these.

He reached over and unlocked his phone, frowning as he realized it was a text from Hansol. He sighed, picking up his phone so he could respond.

From: Hansol, 07:55  
_hey, i wanted to check in to see how u guys are holding up_

From: Seungkwan, 07:55  
_Alive, barely. He cried all night._

From: Hansol, 07:56  
_i was afraid he would.. he’s so sensitive to change_

From: Seungkwan, 07:56  
_Yeah, that would’ve been nice to know beforehand._

From: Hansol, 07:56  
_are u still mad?_

From: Seungkwan, 07:56  
_Honestly? Little bit. Like, lowkey, yes.  
But I don’t want to strangle you anymore like I did last night so I think we’re improving._

From: Hansol, 07:56  
_i’m sorry. i know it was a lot to dump on u at once  
i’ll make it up to u, i promise_

From: Seungkwan, 07:57  
_I’m holding you to that. Mingyu said he misses you, just FYI.  
And by the way, while I have you…  
Did Seokmin mention to you at all what his past owners were like?_

From: Hansol, 07:58  
_about what? like, in general? no  
mainly just mentioned the whole mingyu has had multiple homes thing  
and that he’s got anxiety problems  
all i know is that his last owner returned him  
but other than that, no. why do u ask_

From: Seungkwan, 07:59  
_… No reason. Just… Curious, I guess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: you guys left me so many kind comments on the first chapter, thank you so much!! that made me so happy :^)  
> oh! one other thing too, in case anyone was curious.. the only change here is that mingyu and wonwoo are a bit younger than the others. everyone else is still in their normal age order x)


	3. Chapter 3

It may have only been seven in the evening, but Seungkwan was exhausted. His head felt like it was full of TV static, jaw slacked like there was cotton stuffed in his mouth, and it felt like his bones were aching. His couch felt like a cloud and if it swallowed him whole, Seungkwan wouldn’t mind it. It had definitely been one hell of a day and things were starting to catch up to him a bit.

Work had been pretty brutal. There were a lot of loose ends to tie up and deadlines to meet before his company closed for a couple days for the holiday season. A break sounded like heaven. He’d have to check with Hansol to see if he had any time off; maybe they could actually get to hang out for once. Or, well, the three of them, he supposed. He couldn’t just leave Mingyu by himself…

Seungkwan glanced over at him. Mingyu was sitting beside him on the couch, and the two of them had been watching TV together for the past half an hour or so, but he could tell Mingyu’s brain was starting to wander. He squirmed if he had to sit in one spot for too long, but then again, Seungkwan couldn’t really blame him. He had been cooped up inside since he had been dropped off at his apartment and Seungkwan was fully aware he was a high-energy dog that needed lots of activity, but he was just so _tired_ and he couldn’t let Mingyu go play outside by himself without him being there, or without some kind of identification at least.

“I think tomorrow during lunch we can go pick out a collar for you. At least then we can start going for walks or something together, or if I’m busy with work and you want to go out by yourself, you’d be okay with your collar on,” Seungkwan cracked his eyes open and gave him a look. “Which reminds me. How come you don’t have a collar? Most hybrids your age already have one.”

“Um,” Mingyu started, his voice meek and almost a little embarrassed, “I broke it.”

“What do you mean you broke it?” Seungkwan asked in surprise, eyes blinking open a bit wider. “How?”

“I kept pulling on it… I felt kinda bad because Hansol bought me a new one but I broke that one too,” Mingyu admitted, shoulders scrunching inwards. “He said I’m too rough on them. It just felt too weird and I didn’t like it so I tugged on it a lot when I had to wear it.”

“We’ll find you a different one then when we go tomorrow,” Seungkwan said. “I’m sure they make something stronger but with a material that won’t bother you as much.”

His life had definitely turned upside down. Going shopping for a hybrid collar was something Seungkwan never expected to find on his to-do list. He was already tired to begin with and trying to adjust to the sudden addition of another person who was nothing like him was definitely sapping up what little brain power he had left. Seungkwan was still trying to figure out how Mingyu’s brain worked too, which was a monumental task on its own. Even though Mingyu was finally talking, he was still on the quiet side and it was like pulling teeth to get him to open up about anything.

The good news was that despite how Mingyu kept himself guarded, Seungkwan managed to pick out info on his own, little tics and habits that made everything make a little more sense.

Mingyu was complicated. He was so clumsy but oddly good with his hands at the same time. He dropped or broke just about everything he touched but could somehow sit there and run through combination puzzles with no issues, aside from how Seungkwan had seen him chewing on his fingers or picking at his knuckles when he was thinking too hard like he had seen him doing earlier in the afternoon.

And he could actually _make_ things. There had been a crash in the kitchen earlier and Seungkwan had rushed out of his office to find out he had managed to knock nearly all of his pans off the shelf while trying to pull out one that he wanted to use. And yet, when Seungkwan watched him while they made lunch together, there were miraculously no sliced fingers or fires. He had been a bit concerned initially that Mingyu had just started doing his own thing, afraid he was going to somehow hurt himself, but the fact he was showing independence was definitely a plus so Seungkwan said nothing about it. He _definitely_ didn’t yell either, because just the way he had rushed into the kitchen panicking had made Mingyu scrunch into himself like he was terrified of Seungkwan raising his voice.

To top it off, Mingyu was _good_ at cooking, too. Seungkwan had been a little hesitant to let him take the lead, but Mingyu had started the process so Seungkwan decided to back off and let him take the reins for once, hoping that Mingyu would gain a bit more confidence along the way as well, and he wasn’t disappointed.

_“It’s really good,” Seungkwan told him, watching how Mingyu shyly tucked his cheek against the curve of his own shoulder as he looked away, obviously embarrassed by the praise._

_“Thanks,” Mingyu said quietly, eyes flickering over Seungkwan’s face for a moment, watching him eat. “You really mean it? Like, you’re not just saying it…”_

_“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it,” Seungkwan explained, and Mingyu just nodded in understanding. Seungkwan decided not to comment on how Mingyu’s face was suddenly flushed._

He still had so much to learn, though. Seungkwan sighed softly and mindlessly attempted to hide his fingers in the sleeves of his sweater, trying to find some heat in them because he was _freezing_ but was too lazy to go turn the heat up. He felt a chill scale his spine and he guessed he made his shiver a little too obvious, because Mingyu let out a little noise of acknowledgment beside him. “Are you cold?”

“Aren’t you?”

“No,” Mingyu replied, looking genuinely confused as he scooted closer to him. “See?”

And without waiting for Seungkwan to reply, Mingyu suddenly grabbed one of his hands. They were huge and calloused and _warm_ , too, somehow. Despite the size, it was an oddly tender grasp Mingyu had around him, squeezing gently around his fingers like Seungkwan had seen him do when he held Hansol’s hand in the past.

“You’re like a damn furnace,” Seungkwan blurted before he could stop himself, feeling a little embarrassed by the physical contact but also somewhat impressed because he was pretty sure his apartment currently felt like the inside of a freezer.

“Thanks… I think?” Mingyu replied, visibly confused, his eyebrows pinching inwards. His lips pursed into an unhappy frown, and he squeezed Seungkwan’s fingers a bit harder. “You’re really cold.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Seungkwan deadpanned. Mingyu’s face fell slightly at that, and Seungkwan wanted to kick himself for being a smartass. “Sorry. I’m just—cold and tired and probably a bit more grumpy than usual since I haven’t been sleeping much nowadays.”

Mingyu just nodded like he understood everything. Maybe he did. Seungkwan didn’t bother to ask or to elaborate, and Mingyu didn’t press him to do so. Seungkwan tried to focus on the television, _tried_ to ignore how he felt more of Mingyu’s weight leaning against him, but he couldn’t block it out, especially when Mingyu was so warm. He was cold, and tired, and he wasn’t sure _when_ it happened, but at some point, he blearily cracked his eyes open to find his head resting against Mingyu’s shoulder. Maybe in another instance he would’ve panicked, but he just felt so exhausted he couldn’t bother to pick his head back up. Even the audio from the show they had been watching together sounded like it was miles away, and Seungkwan’s limbs felt like they weighed a ton.

He would close his eyes for just a second. _Just_ a minute… Just a few minutes?

But when he finally found the strength to open his eyes again, everything was dark. He panicked for a moment before realizing he was in the same spot, but the room was different. The television was off, and the room had grown dim as the moon hung in the sky outdoors. Mingyu was gone, too, but in his place, was a blanket draped over his body and tucked around him snugly at the edges to keep the heat trapped inside.

Maybe Mingyu cared more than Seungkwan thought.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Mingyu didn’t handle being in public very well. Seungkwan had been expecting it; he had seen how nervous Mingyu had been just by meeting him one-on-one when Hansol came over to drop him off, and that was just one new person, not _countless_ strangers. Seungkwan was just thankful they hadn’t ventured out during rush hour because Mingyu was having a hard time as it was. It reminded him of when Hansol had dropped him off at his apartment for the first time, how Mingyu glued himself to Hansol’s side and held his hand with a death grip, like he was terrified to let go. It was a little surreal though, being in Hansol’s place and getting all the attention, because he wasn’t used to it, but it wasn’t really _bad._ Mingyu was just using him as a crutch to try to keep himself calm, his gloved hand squeezing around a few of Seungkwan’s fingers tightly as they stood inside the subway car or ventured down the sidewalk together. It would take some getting used to, but Seungkwan said nothing about it, just letting Mingyu do his thing since he wasn’t hurting anyone and it was keeping him somewhat grounded. It was just a little claustrophobic when someone walked past them a bit too close for Mingyu’s liking and Mingyu proceeded to press up against him, as if Seungkwan, despite being much smaller than him, was somehow going to protect him.

It was a bit flattering though in a weird way, because despite how Mingyu still hadn’t fully opened up to him yet, it proved he did have trust that Seungkwan would be there if Mingyu needed him.

Baby steps, but still progress.

As promised, Seungkwan let Mingyu pick out a collar. He was also pretty thankful that Mingyu was able to select one by himself, because Seungkwan was feeling a little overwhelmed inside the store with all the available options. He still didn’t know very much about hybrids or what they needed and even just the wall of collars had his mind spinning with the variety of colors and shapes and styles. He decided to just blend in with the background while Mingyu picked through them and if Mingyu asked for his opinion or needed help trying one on, Seungkwan stepped up to the plate.

In the end, the new collar was leather, made of a few separate strands that were woven together tightly to make one firm braid. Mingyu had mentioned he preferred a collar on the loose side, which Seungkwan couldn’t blame him for at all, because having something tight against your throat all the time just sounded extremely uncomfortable to him. For that reason, Mingyu’s collar was more like a necklace, its material hanging low around his neck and instead settling over his collarbones instead of a choker-style one like some of the others. The ends were joined with a barrel clasp, meaning Mingyu would have to unscrew it to get it off, so Seungkwan was hoping that combined with the heavier leather material, it would be able to hold up against all of Mingyu’s fidgeting and tugging.

There was a small self-service kiosk in the corner to create the tags. Seungkwan took it upon himself to do to the typing since Mingyu didn’t know his phone number or have his address memorized yet. Mingyu hovered beside him the entire time, pressed up against his side, eyes focused and unblinking as he watched. It made Seungkwan a bit flustered, still trying to adjust to the difference in personal space, but he kept quiet; it was an improvement from how Mingyu had initially been too afraid to even come near him.

The machine connected to the kiosk engraved the tag for them, mimicking what Seungkwan had typed into the computer. When it was finished and spat out into the tray at the bottom of the machine for them to take, Seungkwan helped Mingyu slide the tag onto the collar for him. Mingyu fastened it around his neck afterwards, before turning around to face the mirror the shop had on the wall to inspect it. Seungkwan had to admit, it looked good on him, the gold of the tag looking almost like a pendant and complementing the warmth of Mingyu’s skin well too.

Mingyu swiveled around to face him and Seungkwan wasn’t sure why but his heart felt like it was suddenly in his throat when he realized Mingyu was _smiling._ It wasn’t one of those little ones Seungkwan had seen so far where the corners were perked up, but rather a full-on grin, lips parted and teeth on display. It was the first time Seungkwan had ever seen him truly smile like that.

“I love it,” Mingyu told him, his fingers already coming up to fiddle with the material, twisting it around gently between the pads of his thumbs and index fingers. “Thank you _so much_ , Seungkwan.”

“Oh, I… Sure,” Seungkwan stammered, still trying to piece his mind back together but he wasn’t having much success because he was pretty sure that was _also_ the first time Mingyu had said his name. He wasn’t sure if he had ever seen Mingyu so happy and Seungkwan just wanted to burn the image into his mind because despite how much he had been struggling, that one moment somehow made it feel worth it. He smiled softly at that thought. “You’re welcome.”

Since they were already out, Seungkwan decided they may as well duck into a few other stores to get his errands done at once. It was going to be a longer lunch than he was supposed to be taking, but it’d be fine. He thankfully didn’t have any meetings today so he’d just stay on longer to make up any lost time. He really needed to get some new boots before the ice and snow got any worse because he was already struggling to keep his footing, and it wouldn’t hurt to let Mingyu pick out some clothes if he saw anything he liked. Despite being just shy of an adult he could literally fit all of his possessions in a single bag and it definitely left a bad taste in Seungkwan’s mouth whenever he thought about it. He knew it wasn’t really his business but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Mingyu hadn’t been well taken care of previously. The way Mingyu hesitated when Seungkwan told him to pick out something he liked definitely didn’t soothe Seungkwan’s worries, but thankfully, after some coaxing, Mingyu listened to him and began to sift through the various clothing racks.

He was a tad jealous though. Mingyu was pretty gifted in the visuals department, there was no denying it, so Seungkwan knew he’d look good in just about anything he picked.

“Did you want to get ice cream before we go home?” Seungkwan asked him, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed between them as they stepped outside.

Mingyu gave him an odd look, eyes flickering skyward for a moment before he frowned. “It’s snowing.”

“So? The heart wants what it wants, regardless of the weather,” Seungkwan replied, waving one hand in dismissal. “Or stomach, I guess. Cravings aside, I think we’ve earned it. It’s been a long week and you’ve been really good today, too. We can just eat inside.”

Positive reinforcement sounded like a good plan. Mingyu really had been well-behaved. Quiet as always, he stayed by Seungkwan’s side without running off, and aside from fidgeting with his new collar or playing with the zipper on his coat, Mingyu hadn’t been as restless as he usually was. He hadn’t chewed on his nails or bit at his bottom lip at all while they had been out, which was a relief.

Mingyu’s face softened a little at the compliment, corners of his lips twitching upwards. “Okay.”

It may have been temporary, but things felt so simple. It felt like his entire life had been melted down into a mess of stress and work. Seungkwan couldn’t remember the last time he had bothered to just unplug mentally, letting the waves of the world take him away from all the things that made him feel so overwhelmed. The small moments like these and even his hobbies had fallen on the backburner. When was the last time he played his piano, anyway? Not to mention, he didn’t really have plans with friends too often anymore with everyone’s schedules differing, particularly Hansol’s, since he traveled for work. Seungkwan wasn’t particularly fond of it. He knew he was a bit too young to feel lonely, but that was reality, especially when outings with Hansol had been his favorite and now he couldn’t really have them like they used to.

Something suddenly clicked in his head, and Seungkwan glanced up from his ice cream. “Oh! I forgot. Hansol texted me and said he’s going to be in town this weekend.”

Mingyu perked up at that, eyes wide and practically sparkling. “He is?”

“Yeah. He said he wants to see us, so if you want to, the three of us can plan something together.”

“I think it’d be fun,” Mingyu agreed, and Seungkwan could see his tail wagging behind him. “I’m glad he didn’t forget about me… He kept his promise to come back to see me.”

“Why would he lie to you? He cares about you, without a doubt,” Seungkwan said, and immediately regretted it, watching how Mingyu deflated at his words.

“Just because he said he’d come back doesn’t mean he actually meant it,” Mingyu replied quietly. “It’s like how saying ‘I promise’ doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll do something.”

“Hansol is different,” Seungkwan told him, trying to ignore how that same queasy sensation infiltrated his stomach at hearing Mingyu’s words. “You can trust him. He’s one of those people that’s sparse with words like ‘I love you’ or ‘I promise’ unless he truly means it. Saying them too often tarnishes the meaning, in his eyes.”

He would know.

Mingyu frowned at those words though, shaking his head lightly. “That’s stupid. I think if you care about someone you should tell them that you love them. And if you tell them that you love them a lot, that just means you thought about them that many times.”

Seungkwan gave him a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I think that’s a wise way of putting it.”

“Thanks,” Mingyu said, looking awfully proud of himself as he nibbled at some of the sprinkles he had put on his ice cream. “I may not be the brightest but I have my moments sometimes.”

It was an offhand comment, but it broke Seungkwan’s heart to hear it all the same.

* * *

There was still a long way to go before winter was over, but Seungkwan was already sick and tired of the falling snowflakes and the crunch of snow under his boots. Even with his padded coat he still felt like he wasn’t generating enough warmth, shivering a little within the confines of the fabric, and his fingers felt like icicles as he hid them away in his pockets.

Now that Mingyu had a collar, Seungkwan felt more comfortable with taking him outside. For that reason, they decided to make actual plans, rather than just having Hansol come over to his apartment. He doubted anything would happen even if Mingyu didn’t have his collar on, since Mingyu stayed practically glued to his side at all times anyway, but there was that little part of Seungkwan’s brain that just worried.

He was always worrying, now that he thought about it. Even though things were currently fine and he had no _reason_ to feel apprehensive, he did anyway. Maybe it was the way Mingyu was running on ahead without them, maybe it was the way Hansol was walking just a bit too close beside him, Seungkwan didn’t know. The wind was biting at his cheeks and he shrunk further into his coat, watching the trail of footprints get marked into the fresh snow from Mingyu’s boots.

Lunch had been uneventful. Mingyu eagerly sat next to Hansol at the restaurant instead of him, but Seungkwan wasn’t really surprised. He knew Mingyu was excited to see him after Hansol had been absent for so long, but still, Seungkwan would be lying if he said it didn’t make him a little jealous. He was the one taking care of Mingyu now, but it almost felt like Hansol seemed to be Mingyu’s favorite out of the two of them.

Mingyu didn’t seem to be paying either of them any mind at the moment, though. Hansol had suggested that they spend some time outside so that Mingyu could burn off some of the excess energy he had built up over the past few weeks, and despite how Seungkwan felt like he was freezing, it was a good idea. He hadn’t even known Mingyu could run so fast. The park was pretty deserted since it was cold and snowing, which played into their favor; Mingyu could do just about anything he wanted without bothering anyone, and since there weren’t many strangers nearby, he wasn’t as anxious as he typically was either.

Fatigue eventually settled into Seungkwan’s bones, both from being tired of walking and because the cold was getting to him, so he and Hansol found a nearby bench to sit on that was still close enough for them to keep an eye on Mingyu. The hybrid was currently playing on the playground alone, and he looked somewhat ridiculous because he was enormous, but he looked like he was enjoying himself so Seungkwan just let him have his fun. He wasn’t bothering anyone, so why not?

Hansol was squished up against his side, and Seungkwan had half a mind to ask him to get even closer because he could feel his body heat through his jacket and it felt incredible. He pulled his sleeves over his hands, blowing into them and watching the way his breath turned to fog. He was a little jealous of Mingyu’s genes. Seungkwan glanced up at him. Mingyu always seemed warm, and even right then he didn’t appear the least bit uncomfortable, as if he was made for weather like this. Maybe it was just a hybrid thing?

Hansol’s hand rubbed over his bicep through the material of his coat, like he was trying to comfort him. “Sorry. I should’ve brought you a hot pack or two.”

“For what?”

“Because it was my idea for us to hang out outdoors and you’re freezing your ass off?” Hansol deadpanned, his eyebrows arching.

Seungkwan didn’t comment on the way his hand was still lingering on his arm. He instead just shrugged. “It’s fine. I don’t need you to take care of me… Besides, I have plenty of ass to spare.”

Hansol gave him a playful push. It wasn’t even that hard, but Seungkwan hadn’t been prepared for it, so he did stagger sideways a little. “Well, maybe I want to take care of you sometimes.”

“I’m older so you don’t get to make the rules.” Seungkwan immediately pushed him back, maybe with a bit more force than he intended, because with Hansol sitting on the very edge of the bench he went sliding right off and onto his rear on the ground.

Luckily, he wasn’t hurt, instead just letting out a laugh of disbelief as he sat there in the snow. His gloves immediately dug into the ground and while Seungkwan remained perched on the bench, trying to hold in his giggling, Hansol pelted him right in the face with a handful of snow. “Asshole.”

Seungkwan’s scream was a little more high-pitched than it should’ve been in most scenarios, but he couldn’t help it, because he was already freezing and the cold and dampness of the snow in his face and running into his collar was just making it worse. Too preoccupied, he didn’t notice the way Mingyu had completely stopped what he was doing when he heard Seungkwan shriek. The hybrid was already climbing down from the playground to come check on him, but he was just a shadow in Seungkwan’s peripheral vision that he wasn’t paying any mind to as he stood up. Seeing him grab a handful of snow, Hansol raised a forearm in an attempt of protecting his face, laughing as he scrambled to get to his feet and feeling the wad pelt him in the back of his shoulder.

By the time Mingyu hurried over to the two of them to see what was going on, they had already made the snowball fight the center of their attention. Mingyu tried to step in between them, seeming worried that they were actually squabbling with one another, only to get pelted in the face by mistake. They paused for a moment, eyes wide, waiting for the tears, but they thankfully didn’t fall. Mingyu just glanced between them, visibly confused rather than upset, which was a relief.

“It’s not an actual fight, Mingyu,” Seungkwan explained, grabbing his hand as he pulled Mingyu backwards and closer to him. “It’s just for fun. C’mon, you can be on my team.”

It felt a little unreal, when Seungkwan thought about it. He couldn’t really recall a time when he felt this free, at least not anytime recently. It was something so simple but he actually felt _happy._ No worries, no strings attached. The few people that were in the park too were staring at them for obvious reasons, but Seungkwan couldn’t bring himself to care. It was just the three of them screaming and laughing and having a good time and the fact that he was cold and tired became watered down in the back of his head from the adrenaline. It was apparently Mingyu’s first snowball fight too but he was surprisingly good at the game, much faster than he and Hansol were and he had a strong throwing arm. Even Mingyu was smiling, which felt like a miracle on its own.

Eventually, the sky began to dim, and the streetlights began to flicker to life for the night. Seungkwan and Hansol had grown fatigued at some point, having seated themselves on the swings to take a breather. Despite everything, Mingyu still seemed the most alert out of the three of them, not appearing drained in the slightest. It scared Seungkwan a little. He had been told that Mingyu was a high-energy breed, but he didn’t expect him to be _this_ energized. Mingyu didn’t seem to notice him staring though, his gloved hands holding onto the chains suspending his weight off the ground as he swung gently, letting his boots drag across the snow in the process.

The silence was long, but comfortable. Seungkwan was sitting in the middle, between the two of them. Without the glow of the sun straining from behind the clouds, he was starting to feel the chill again. His pants and coat were wet and he was starting to shiver a bit, which Hansol immediately commented on, much to his dismay.

“Maybe we should get going. It’s getting late,” Hansol said as he stood up, glancing over at Seungkwan. “You probably need to get changed anyway before you get sick.”

Seungkwan frowned. He wanted to argue, but he knew Hansol was right. Even in the darkening world he could see his breath and his joints were starting to feel stiff.

“Are you leaving?” Mingyu piped up from beside him, digging his heels into the earth to stop the swing. He looked upset, but Seungkwan was thankful he wasn’t crying this time. When Hansol nodded, Mingyu practically flew out of his swing, immediately crashing into Hansol’s arms with enough force to nearly knock them both to the ground. Hansol stumbled a little but was somehow able to hold the two of them upright, sighing gently as he let Mingyu crush him in a big bear hug. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, bud. I’ll come see you and Seungkwan again,” Hansol told him, patting Mingyu’s back the best he could, “but it might be a while. Work’s been a hot mess lately.”

“It’s okay. As long as you come back,” Mingyu said, at last giving Hansol mercy by peeling himself off of the shorter man. His eyes were sad, and shiny with a film of unshed tears, but the corners of his lips were curled up a little in a smile of acceptance. He then seemed to realize that Seungkwan had stood up too, so he backed away a little to let the two of them have some space.

“What, do you want a hug too?” Hansol asked him, grinning at the look of irritation Seungkwan gave him in return. He merely opened his arms again, like he was inviting him.

“Shut up,” Seungkwan grumbled, coming closer anyway. Even with the two of them currently freezing and their clothes wet, Hansol’s hug still felt warm. Seungkwan rested his chin on his shoulder and squeezed him a little too tightly. “I barely get to see you anymore. Let me have this with no sass, please.”

“I learned the sass from you,” Hansol muttered, attempting to lurch away when Seungkwan pinched him harshly through the fabric of his jacket. He held on tighter, and for a moment, things were quiet as they just held each other, blind to the way Mingyu was repetitively glancing between the two of them, like the cogs in his brain were turning over something only he could see.

It was a little too lengthy to be a normal hug and even though Seungkwan didn’t want to let go, he was the first to do. He carefully pulled away, desperately trying to ignore how _wrong_ it felt when he did so.

“Be careful. Travel safe. You know I worry about you when you have to go somewhere,” Seungkwan told him, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “And let me know when you want to hang out again. I know you’re busy, I just… I think it’d be good for us to do it more often, if we can.”

He missed him. He missed _them._ But he knew he didn’t have the guts to say it.

“Sure. Sounds like a plan. We’ll work something out,” Hansol told him, and he was smiling, snowflakes in his hair and his face stung red from the wind. “I’ll see you later.”

And just like that, with a final round of goodbyes, he was gone. Seungkwan just stood there for a long moment, watching his figure fade away as he walked off, his shadow painted across the surface of the snow until it, too, disappeared.

He must have stood there a little too long, because Mingyu gently reached out to take his hand, the largeness of it curling around his fingers. “Are we going home?”

“I—Yeah. Sorry,” Seungkwan mumbled. His voice sounded weird in his ears, like it wasn’t his own. He splayed his fingers out a little so Mingyu had some more surface area to grab onto. Even with the dampness of his gloves, Mingyu’s hands still managed to radiate warmth, and he felt Mingyu squeezing him tighter, like he was concerned, especially because Seungkwan was _still_ standing there motionless.

“Are you okay?” Mingyu then asked him.

“Yeah,” Seungkwan said yet again, at last willing his legs to start moving even though all he wanted to do was collapse right back into that stupid swing like everything was fine, like he didn’t have a single problem in the entire world. He made it two whole steps before he stopped again.

“Seungkwan,” Mingyu murmured, and his voice was unlike Seungkwan had ever heard it. It was soft like it typically was but there was no denying the worried undertone of his speech. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

God, when was the last time anyone bothered to ask him that? There was a sudden lump in his throat and his eyes stung. He finally caved in and sank back into the swing, his fingers rising to claw through his hair, heels of his palms digging over his eyes as he tried to hold back tears. He heard the crunch of Mingyu’s boots against the snow, and the next, came his warmth. Mingyu didn’t ask him, didn’t wait for him to say anything, just—wrapped him up in his arms. Seungkwan didn’t see it, but he could tell, could feel the way Mingyu’s limbs felt abnormally strong as he squeezed him a tight hug.

Mingyu didn’t pressure him. He never did. He didn’t ask, didn’t say anything else, just held him in his arms. And as much as Seungkwan didn’t want to admit it, that was really all he wanted right then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyes emoji............  
> also i'm lowkey really excited for the next chapter we finally get to meet new people!! hehe


	4. Chapter 4

That night was a haze. His mind went numb at some point and everything blurred together. He vaguely remembered being crushed in Mingyu’s arms, hiccupping into his chest. And the next, his legs feeling like they were made of lead as he forced himself to walk. Snow, cold, Mingyu squeezing his hand. He couldn’t recall the journey home; all he knew was that he somehow made it back in one piece with Mingyu. Snow was strewn in the entranceway. Seungkwan’s boots were kicked off without a care and left sitting out. He didn’t remember changing clothes or collapsing into his bed, body aching from the weather and overexertion.

He wasn’t sure when Mingyu came into his room either, but he did, at first just sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. Mingyu had never been in his room before. Seungkwan hadn’t dared to look at him, but he could feel Mingyu’s gaze lingering on him. And then, Mingyu was _whimpering,_ like he was upset but couldn’t manage to vocalize it. Seungkwan had felt his weight shift, vaguely acknowledging that Mingyu was lying down beside him, contorting himself to force his body to fit into the narrow space left in Seungkwan’s bed. Seungkwan hated being vulnerable, he detested for anyone to see him upset, but he didn’t bother to push Mingyu away either. He let him stay, despite how heavy Mingyu felt when he partially rolled on top of Seungkwan, and even when Mingyu nudged underneath his chin to lay his head down on Seungkwan’s chest with a low whine in his throat, Seungkwan didn’t utter a single word.

Seungkwan didn’t remember anything after that. He didn’t know if he cried or not, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he had.

He woke up alone. Mingyu had made breakfast like he usually did, and greeted him good morning like always, tacking on a soft question at the end asking if he was feeling better. Seungkwan said yes, and that was the end of it. Seungkwan didn’t explain, Mingyu didn’t ask, and they swept it under the rug. He liked it that way. Seungkwan didn’t want to talk nor think about it, not when he had been held in Mingyu’s arms twice in one night and had practically broken down both times. He knew he probably shouldn’t have felt ashamed, but he did regardless.

They didn’t talk about that night ever again.

* * *

They fell into routines. Things hadn’t changed _too_ much since Mingyu had come to live with him. Seungkwan continued to work himself half to death and sleep still decided to avoid him. He was at least getting some more fresh air from going on late afternoon walks with Mingyu, squeezed into his schedule before the sun could set. Before Mingyu started to live with him, Seungkwan would sometimes go days upon days without leaving his apartment. At times, he tried to come up with an excuse to not go, because it was cold out there and he was worn out, but for some reason whenever Mingyu pouted at him like he did with his eyes all round and sad as he said _please_ always made him cave.

_“I like it better when you come with me.”_

Seungkwan knew. Mingyu had a collar now, he could go outside by himself if he wanted to, but he always hesitated and asked Seungkwan to tag along. He was a bit thankful for it, in a weird way. There were always the ‘what if’ scenarios playing in the back of his head, about Mingyu getting lost, about him getting hurt, about him somehow losing his identification and getting picked up as a stray and then never coming back—

He just worried.

Sometimes, it was like Mingyu didn’t even exist. He wasn’t soft-spoken like he used to be whenever Seungkwan conversed with him, but the thing was, sometimes Mingyu just didn’t talk at all unless Seungkwan spoke first. He’d be quiet for hours straight some days. Usually Seungkwan would find him curled up and working on puzzles like crosswords or sudoku, or reading a book – he had already finished half of the material on Seungkwan’s bookshelf – but sometimes he’d just be sitting there, wrapped up in his own head and face blank as he stared off into space. Seungkwan couldn’t read him, could never pick him apart to tell what he was thinking, but it bothered him, especially because those were the moments Mingyu had a tendency to start biting himself without realizing it.

There was something in Mingyu’s brain that wasn’t wired correctly, and Seungkwan wasn’t sure what it was or why, but it concerned him all the same.

Maybe he could ask Jisoo about it. He knew Jisoo’s line of work was more centered around physical ailments but he had far more experience with hybrids than Seungkwan did. He sighed at the thought as he padded out of his bedroom. Of course, even on his day off he couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t even six in the morning yet so there was still quite a while to go before his plans for the day started. Since Mingyu was now more comfortable around him and seemed to finally be acclimating to his new environment, Seungkwan decided it was time to step things up a bit by letting Mingyu hang out with his other friends. He knew Mingyu was going to be scared, because he wasn’t used to being around strangers and didn’t handle it well, but he _needed_ to work on socializing. At least with it being Jisoo, someone he knew well, things would hopefully be a little less stressful for him, especially since Seungkwan would be there for him as his rock.

Seungkwan went to enter the kitchen and jumped, startled, as he realized he wasn’t alone. Mingyu was hunched at the table, and glanced up when he heard Seungkwan approaching. They just stared at each other for a minute in silence before Seungkwan finally spoke.

“You scared me,” he said quietly. “I didn’t know you were awake.”

Mingyu just gave him a little shrug. He looked tired. His puffy eyes fell onto the table, and his fingers were picking through the colored assortment of puzzle pieces residing on the surface. Since it was just the two of them, they only used one side of the table for meals, so Seungkwan let him have the remaining space to work on his puzzle. Seungkwan had bought it for him on a whim and it was several thousand pieces but Mingyu was making good progress working on it over the past couple weeks. Sometimes he intimidated Seungkwan a little; he was intelligent, he was so much smarter than Seungkwan could consider himself to be, not when he watched Mingyu breeze through more books in a week than Seungkwan had read in a year or when he solved a rubik’s cube without batting an eyelash.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

His voice was soft. Seungkwan gave him a wry smile. “I couldn’t either.”

Silence fell between them after that as Seungkwan headed into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. He had offered to make some for Mingyu once before but the hybrid was quick to object, telling him he couldn’t handle caffeine or anything remotely similar because it made his heart feel like it was racing. So Seungkwan didn’t bother asking, instead just making some for himself. It would’ve been a good morning for hot chocolate, as the sun wasn’t fully up yet and the apartment still had that late-night chill to the air, but alas, he knew Mingyu’s body couldn’t properly process the compounds in cacao.

He liked vanilla though, so Seungkwan threw it together with some hot milk so Mingyu would have something to drink too. Just a splash of cinnamon and nutmeg, too, because Mingyu enjoyed the slight bite to it. They had only known each other for a few weeks but Seungkwan had already memorized how he liked his drink, something so trivial but stuck in his brain anyway.

Mingyu hadn’t moved an inch when he returned. He was staring at a corner of his puzzle, apparently trying to figure out what piece would be a good fit. Seungkwan wordlessly put the mug down beside him atop of the table before circling around to sit across from him. Mingyu thanked him quietly, like he did every time Seungkwan made him a drink.

He doubted Mingyu was in the mood to talk, but the quiet was bothering him, so Seungkwan spoke up anyway. “Are you sure you’ll be okay to go over to Jisoo’s later? If you want to stay home and rest, we can, it’s fine.”

“No, I want to go,” Mingyu replied, “I’m just not…awake, yet. But I’ll be okay, I’m used to it.”

Seeing Seungkwan raise his eyebrows at that comment, Mingyu shrunk into himself a bit, obviously feeling put on the spot. Seungkwan hadn’t even asked, but the mere look on his face was like it was prompting him for more info.

“I just,” he continued, and he was stammering, like he was afraid to open up and expose himself to Seungkwan at all. He was pulling on the drawstrings hanging from his hoodie, a little too roughly, “don’t sleep well, most of the time. It—My brain goes way too fast, especially if I don’t exercise, then I can’t sleep. Sometimes my chest starts getting all tight, or, um, the—the bad dreams. Those keep me up too.”

Seungkwan just stared at him for a long moment, letting Mingyu’s words wash over him. He felt his heart squeeze in his chest. He hadn’t known Mingyu was having problems sleeping, let alone known it was _that_ bad. He didn’t even know what to say. How many nights had Mingyu been lying awake in bed just a meager wall away without him even realizing it?

“Please don’t look at me like… Like _that_. I’m fine,” Mingyu mumbled, his voice wet and strained, like he was trying to convince them both. “It’s been that way for a long time, okay?”

“Mingyu,” Seungkwan said quietly, trying to reach across the table to grab his hand, but Mingyu snatched it away from him, clearly not feeling comfortable or safe enough at the moment to touch him. “I’m here for a reason. I just worry about you.”

“It’s not like you sleep either. I can hear you when you get up. You need to worry about yourself,” Mingyu suddenly blurted, and there was a split second of silence before Mingyu suddenly slapped his hands over his mouth, as if it would magically make the words come back to him. He hadn’t meant to say it, Seungkwan could tell, meeting Mingyu’s wide, suddenly terrified eyes. He was scared to death of how Seungkwan was going to react.

But Seungkwan just gave him a soft, rather sad sort of smile. “I know. But I can worry about you, too.”

Mingyu just blinked at him for a few seconds before he slowly unfurled his hands from around his jaw so he could speak. “Y-You aren’t mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I talked back to you,” Mingyu said quietly, visibly confused, a slight tremor in his voice.

“So? We’re having a conversation. You’re allowed to say whatever you want,” Seungkwan told him, keeping his voice calm and level despite how his mind was currently going a hundred miles an hour. “Mingyu, you don’t have to be afraid to tell me what’s on your mind. You aren’t below me; we’re equals. And, besides, you’re right. I don’t take care of myself enough. I don’t sleep much either, I have a record of fifteen days straight for not leaving the house, and half the time if you don’t tell me you made food I forget to eat. I’m lowkey a wreck but that doesn’t mean I can’t worry about you at the same time. Okay?”

Mingyu was conflicted, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had his tail curled over his thigh as if he was trying to protect himself. Seungkwan could see him yanking on his hoodie again. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to make you worried, or—or cause problems either. I just… Sometimes when you want to talk about things, I… I…”

He trailed off, looking so defeated, but Seungkwan somehow understood anyway. “It’s okay if you don’t trust me enough yet to tell me. There are a lot of things I haven’t told you yet either. One day, it’ll come. Just not today.”

Mingyu nodded in agreement, but his face was sullen. Seungkwan bit the inside of his cheek. He needed to talk to Jisoo.

* * *

Jisoo was the type of guy that Seungkwan wanted to be when he grew up. Never mind the fact that he was nearly thirty, he could dream.

Jisoo always seemed to have his life together. He had a nice house with a yard, a garden he somehow managed to keep alive, and a damn doctorate degree. His living space was always clean, even if Seungkwan showed up unannounced. He wasn’t feminine but still somehow had a beautiful face and his voice was overall soft-spoken to match. And, despite working full hours as a veterinarian at his own practice, Jisoo still somehow juggled the job of being a hybrid owner at home.

Sometimes, Seungkwan doubted he was human, or even real, because he didn’t know how Jisoo did it all.

Seungkwan paused on the porch for a minute and squinted at the door. Jisoo had hung a new wreath for the winter, apparently, its mesh of whites, soft blues, and grays clashing in a nice way against the dark paint behind it. He needed to ring the doorbell, but Mingyu’s hand was literally trembling in his own as they stood there, and it made Seungkwan keep hesitating. He didn’t _want_ Mingyu to be afraid, but…

“Are you sure you want to meet them? I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed,” Seungkwan murmured, looking up at him, frowning at Mingyu’s wide, shiny eyes. It was the same fearful look Mingyu had when Hansol had dropped him off at Seungkwan’s apartment for the first time, and Seungkwan could safely assume he finally understood how Hansol had felt.

Mingyu nodded. He was squished up against Seungkwan at this point, partially hiding behind him, although his larger size meant he still stuck out like a sore thumb. He had a borderline death grip on Seungkwan’s hand, holding tightly as if Seungkwan was going to disappear. His voice was unsteady when he finally spoke. “I want to, I just—I…”

He trailed off, and Seungkwan squeezed his hand. “I know you’re scared, but it’ll be okay. They’re my friends. You can trust them.”

Mingyu’s tail was tucked between his legs, and he was gnawing on his lip. “What if they don’t like me?”

“They will. I promise.”

The corner of Mingyu’s mouth had turned red from too many bites. He licked at it, uncertainty and fear swirling around in his eyes, but he nodded anyway. Seungkwan at last reached out to ring the doorbell. There was some movement, footsteps, before they could hear the lock tumbling. Mingyu whined softly.

The door popped open. There was a man in the doorway, just barely taller than Seungkwan, but the crown of his head was marked with two brown, pointy ears.

“Oh! Hey,” was all he said. He reached out to give Seungkwan a brief hug before he opened the door wider so the duo could come inside. Seungkwan headed in, and had to tug at Mingyu’s hand to get him to follow, as he was frozen to the porch, staring at the strange hybrid with a look of obvious intimidation in his eyes. At Seungkwan’s urging though, he moved, following Seungkwan inside and sticking close to him. The stranger then proceeded to close the door, his voice abruptly rising into a shout as he did so, nonchalantly yelling across the house, “Shua! Company!”

From somewhere inside the building, there was a faint reply of _who is it?_

“Seungkwan! And a friend!” the hybrid yelled back, before he suddenly turned to Mingyu. Mingyu didn’t have Seungkwan’s hand anymore, as he was currently working on taking his boots and coat off, which meant his safety net was out of the picture. It made him feel vulnerable, and he unconsciously shrunk into himself when the stranger locked eyes with him. The hybrid tilted his head slightly to one side. “I’m sorry. We haven’t met before, right? I don’t know what your name is.”

When Mingyu didn’t respond, just staring back at him, Seungkwan piped up instead, accustomed to Mingyu’s moments of selective mutism. “His name is Mingyu.”

“Seungkwan and Mingyu!” the hybrid suddenly shouted, correcting his previous statement even though whoever it was that had called back to him earlier hadn’t bothered to ask for an elaboration. He then turned back to Mingyu, and his smile was a little mischievous, but warm. “I’m Jeonghan.”

Mingyu didn’t say anything, not that Seungkwan was surprised. He just nodded, taking the hand Jeonghan offered him to shake it. Jeonghan’s grip was strong, which was a good sign. Mingyu then let go to take off his coat, already having managed to toe off his boots.

Jeonghan gave him an interested look though when he didn’t get a verbal response, watching the two of them hang up their outerwear on the little rack by the door. His voice held no venom, just genuine curiosity, “can you not talk?”

“ _Jeonghan,”_ came a sudden hiss from the entranceway, and Mingyu’s gaze snapped over immediately to see who else was joining the conversation. It was another man, but judging by the lack of ears and tail, he was human. He looked annoyed as he walked into the room. “Don’t be rude.”

“I was just asking,” Jeonghan complained, giving the man a little pout, his brown ears flattening atop of his head. “Don’t be mean to me, we have witnesses.”

The newcomer just let out a sigh of defeat. He then turned to Seungkwan, giving him a hug and a _good to see you again_ before turning his attention to Mingyu. He didn’t mean to, but Mingyu flinched a little, his fingers tugging at his sweater sleeves. The man’s eyes flickered over Mingyu’s figure before he extended a hand towards him. “You’re Mingyu, right? I’m Jisoo. Seungkwan told me about you.”

Mingyu’s throat visibly bobbed at that as he swallowed thickly, apparently not too comforted at hearing Seungkwan had mentioned him to his friends. Seungkwan’s face scrunched up a bit in a grimace. It wasn’t anything bad that had been said, but Mingyu obviously didn’t know that. Still, Mingyu shook Jisoo’s hand anyway, nodding, and he didn’t even have the chance to recover from the two sudden introductions because there were running footsteps down the nearest hallway.

“Is he here?” came a new voice. Mingyu’s head shot up, barely catching the glimpse of a figure running towards him before someone crashed into his arms. Arms wrapped tightly around his waist, hands locked around his lower back, and Mingyu’s yelp was embarrassingly high-pitched as he realized his feet weren’t touching anything solid anymore as _whoever_ this was had lifted him clean off the floor. “Hi! It’s really nice to meet you!”

“Seungcheol, put him _down_ ,” Jisoo ordered, “what have I told you about jumping on other dogs like that? You’re scaring him.”

That was true enough. Mingyu was starting to squirm in his arms, his breathing becoming ragged like he was on the verge of panicking. The stranger blinked up at him, before seeming to realize that Jisoo was right.

“Oh—I’m really sorry,” he said quickly, and unceremoniously set Mingyu back down on his own two feet. Mingyu staggered backwards a couple steps, bumping into Seungkwan in the process, and immediately fumbled for his hand, trying to find a way to ground himself. He finally got a look at the new boy’s face though. His ears looked a lot like Mingyu’s own, hanging from his head in a floppy manner and were a stark white, marred with black spots. His eyes were wide and shiny with excitement but also guilt. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Um… I’m Seungcheol.”

Jisoo groaned audibly, massaging his temples between thin fingers. “You two are stressing us both out. Can you just—go, for a few minutes. I need to talk to Seungkwan.”

Jeonghan huffed softly, not seeming pleased, but he was the first to do as Jisoo said. Swiveling on his heel, he grabbed Seungcheol by the hand, and began to pull him away and into another part of the house.

“I’m so sorry,” Jisoo sighed out as soon as the two hybrids were out of earshot. “You know I don’t have guests over very much lately so they’re both stupidly hyper today. Seungcheol doesn’t really get to play with other dog hybrids besides Chan and they haven’t seen each other in a while… Mingyu, are you okay? I know that was a lot at once.”

Mingyu just kept his mouth shut, giving him a little nod.

“He’s not very talkative with people he’s just met, Jisoo. He’s…” Seungkwan finally spoke up, having been quiet while everything had unfolded. His voice was wavering and a bit worried, because Mingyu was obviously struggling. He wound up trailing off gracelessly for a moment though, unsure of how to explain. He was getting a weird sense of déjà vu to the night Hansol dropped Mingyu off at his apartment, saying he was intimidated by strangers. Seungkwan swallowed uncomfortably. All he had told Jisoo so far was that he was going to be bringing Mingyu, his new hybrid, with him, and that he was a bit nervous. He hadn’t scratched the surface yet of Mingyu’s mental struggles. “He’s a bit nervous and shy with people he doesn’t know well.”

Jisoo just hummed softly at hearing this. “What kind of breed is he?”

Mingyu didn’t respond, so Seungkwan spoke for him. “He’s a mix. Great Dane and Australian Shepherd.”

“I figured something like that. You’re awfully tall.” Jisoo looked Mingyu up and down for a moment. It wasn’t a judgmental stare, just an observational one. Mingyu visibly squirmed under his gaze though, like Jisoo was somehow picking him apart. “Do you feel nervous a lot?”

He hesitated, but eventually nodded, not letting go of Seungkwan’s hand.

“I’m not sure if Seungkwan told you about me, but I’m a veterinarian, so I was just curious,” Jisoo explained slowly. His voice was quiet and so calm, too. “You know, it’s actually pretty common for the high energy and intelligent breeds to have anxiety problems. You actually remind me of Seungcheol back when he came home with me, years ago.”

“What do you mean?” Seungkwan asked quietly as he stood beside Mingyu.

“That’s right, we weren’t friends yet at the time, were we? I don’t think I ever told you this story, now that I think about it… Anyway, as you already know, Seungcheol is a dalmatian. Breed-wise, that’s really similar to Mingyu. Energetic, smart dogs. He’s thankfully much better these days, but he had really bad anxiety problems when I first brought him home.” Jisoo’s smile was soft, a little sad. “So, I kind of understand what you guys are going through. I know it’s hard.”

Peals of laughter were bouncing off the walls in another room deeper inside the house. Jisoo paused as he heard this, accustomed to having to keep an eye on the two hybrids, so it was like a habit to just tune in sometimes. He looked like he had completely zoned out, face distant as he blocked out the world to instead focus on the source of the noise.

When he realized nothing was wrong, he seemed to snap out of his trance, eyes refocusing as he turned his attention back to Seungkwan and Mingyu. “Mingyu, I know Seungkwan has said that you haven’t gotten to hang out with other hybrids in quite a while, so maybe you guys could play together while Seungkwan and I catch up on our boring adult stuff. They can show you around, at the very least, since you’ve never been here before. Would you be okay with that?”

Seungkwan looked over at Mingyu, heart squeezing in his chest at how panicked the hybrid suddenly looked. He had gotten so accustomed to being around Seungkwan all the time that _not_ having him nearby obviously scared him, especially since he was going to be alone with some strangers he didn’t know.

Seungkwan squeezed his hand gently. “You can, if you want to. I’ll just be a few rooms away if you do need me, okay? Jeonghan and Seungcheol are hybrids just like you. I promise they’ll be nice to you. Maybe you guys could even become friends if you give them a chance.”

He winced, seeing how Mingyu was starting to bite at his lip again as he mulled it over. Jisoo noticed it too, judging by the way his eyes had strayed to Mingyu’s face. He seemed unsure for a long moment, letting Seungkwan’s words bounce around in his brain before finally, after what seemed like forever, he nodded in acceptance. Seungkwan barely managed to contain a sigh of relief. Progress.

Jisoo smiled at that response, and began to lead them deeper into the house. Mingyu lagged a little behind Seungkwan, looking around with slightly nervous eyes as he tried to take in the foreign surroundings he was presently in, while still holding Seungkwan’s hand. Mingyu was the tallest out of them, but he was padding behind Seungkwan with tiny footsteps, even though Seungkwan knew he had ridiculously long strides due to his giant legs.

The trio entered the living room. Seungcheol and Jeonghan were sitting on the couch and chatting with each other, but as the others entered the space, they quieted down, staring back with curious eyes.

“Could you two show Mingyu around and keep him company for a while?” Jisoo then asked, one eyebrow raised almost warningly at the two hybrids, like a silent signal of _behave_. “Seungkwan and I are going to catch up for a bit while the three of you guys hang out.”

Seungcheol jumped to his feet excitedly, and his tail was wagging. “Yeah, of course!”

Finally, after what felt like forever, Seungkwan began to pull his hand away and out of Mingyu’s grip. He was gentle, but Mingyu still looked down at him in panic anyway, while Jeonghan was heaving himself off the couch.

“You’ll be fine,” Seungkwan said softly, giving Mingyu a little smile as he patted his arm comfortingly. “But if you do need me, I’ll be here, okay? Go play, Mingyu. You deserve to have some fun, too.”

Mingyu swallowed at the gentle command, turning his head to look at Seungcheol and Jeonghan, who had now walked over to him. Jisoo and Seungkwan were standing slightly off to the side as the three hybrids just stared at each other for a long moment, before Jeonghan’s ears suddenly started twitching around atop of his head.

“You don’t have to be so scared, you know,” he said, voice soft. His eyes were glued to Mingyu’s hands, watching how he was twisting his fingers around, now fidgeting since he didn’t have Seungkwan there for support anymore. “Do you want me to hold your hand?”

There was a long pause. Mingyu hesitated for far too long, before he finally nodded, sticking one hand out towards Jeonghan. The cat hybrid grinned at him as he took Mingyu’s hand into his own.

“C’mon,” he said, pulling Mingyu gently to get him to follow. Seungcheol was already leaving the room, leading their small pack, and Jeonghan was already on his heels.

With one final glance over his shoulder, locking eyes with Seungkwan, who smiled gently back at him, Mingyu finally willed himself to move and follow the others.

“You two play nice, too,” Jisoo called after them, tutting softly under his breath when all he received was one of Seungcheol’s loud laughs. The trio’s footsteps faded away slowly, and once the three hybrids were out of the room and hearing range, Jisoo glanced over at Seungkwan, his eyebrows upturned with worry. “Is he normally like this? I know you said he’s anxious around strangers but he didn’t say a word, and I saw him biting his lip. It’s really red.”

“It’s complicated, I guess. He talks with me, but he has these periods where sometimes he’ll just sit in total silence for hours, like he’s thinking too hard about something. When Hansol dropped him off at my place he didn’t say a single word until almost a day later,” Seungkwan said with a sigh. “He—I don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it, but he bites. A _lot_. His lip, his nails, his fingers. Sometimes he’ll start picking at his knuckles, too.”

“Is it bad?” Jisoo asked then, his voice soft.

“I mean, the mutism thing we just deal with on a case-by-case basis. He’s only been with me and Hansol for extended periods and he talks with us, so I haven’t really seen it as a _huge_ problem, since he tends to open up after a little while when we meet someone new, but…” Seungkwan swallowed, obvious concern in his voice. “Sometimes he scares the shit out of me with the whole biting thing. I usually don’t tell him to stop because I’m afraid I’ll make it worse, but—he sometimes bites his fingers to the point he bleeds. Not often, but it’s happened once or twice.”

“Poor thing. He must be in so much pain,” Jisoo murmured, letting out a little sigh. “Have you considered getting him a stim toy?”

“A what?” Seungkwan deadpanned, the topic going right over his head.

“A stim toy. It’s short for stimming, which is just, like… Repetitive behaviors that are self-stimulating. A lot of people do it when they get sensory overloaded, nervous, anxious, whatever. It’s like when you get nervous and start bouncing your leg, you know? There are tons of different kinds but it looks like Mingyu’s form of stimming is that he goes for the tactile habits, things he can do with his hands,” Jisoo explained calmly, “that’s why he bites his nails and starts fidgeting and picking at his knuckles like he does. I think he just has a lot of built-up anxiety so his brain is trying to find a way to get it out. Stimming isn’t a bad thing, but I think I’m just a little worried because he’s unintentionally hurting himself… Seungcheol used to be like that when he first came home with me. He was a nail biter as well and he’d pick at his lips a lot, to the point they would be raw and bloody. He’s improved a _ton_ over the years, so I’m sure Mingyu can get better too.”

Seungkwan was quiet for a long moment, trying to process what Jisoo was telling him. “Okay. I think I’m just…still a little confused.”

“Well, basically, you can’t just tell Mingyu to stop whatever behavior he’s doing. Even if you tell him to stop, his brain is still going to keep sending signals that he needs an outlet. So, rather than trying to force him to quit doing certain things, what you can do is instead try to rewire the urge into something that is less harmful. So, that’s where the toys come in; they would help him gradually move away from the behaviors he currently has and into something healthier, while still taking care of that ‘itch’, so to speak.” Jisoo gave him a toothy grin. “Whenever he wants to stim, he can just use one of his toys instead of biting himself. Since he’s a chewer, you could probably get him a piece of jewelry or something to use instead. They make chewable necklaces and all sorts of stuff these days, so he may like one of those. Whenever he wants to chew, he can just put that in his mouth instead of his fingers. He may feel self-conscious in public with something like that though, so in that case, you could probably find him a small toy to just keep in his hands to fiddle with when he gets nervous. The only issue is finding something he likes because there’s a lot of different textures out there; plastic, stainless steel, whatever, so if he doesn’t like the texture of it, it’s probably not going to help very much.”

Seungkwan just stared back at him in silence, his brain feeling somewhat overloaded by all the sudden information Jisoo had just given him. He nodded slowly, trying to absorb everything and struggling. Jisoo must have been able to see the confusion on his face because he just laughed, digging around in the pocket of the sweatshirt he was wearing to pull out his phone.

“I know it’s a lot to take in at first. Here, I can show you one of the websites I’ve been using to order toys from for Seungcheol. Like I said, he’s definitely improved, but he still likes wearing the pendant I got for him, and I keep a couple toys in the house for him just in case he needs them,” Jisoo said, typing away at his phone, “and since he and Mingyu both have biting habits, they’d probably be into the same type of toys for the most part.”

Ah, so that’s what it was. Seungcheol was always wearing the same necklace whenever Seungkwan saw him, so he had just assumed it was a piece of jewelry he liked. It was pretty ordinary looking, just a plain teardrop shape, so he hadn’t realized it was something Seungcheol chewed on if he got wound up, too.

His head was swimming a little when Jisoo handed him his phone and he began to scroll through the various listings. It vaguely reminded him of the day he took Mingyu to pick out a collar; there were just a ton of colors and shapes and he felt a bit overwhelmed. What would Mingyu like? Even though the two of them were living together, Seungkwan still knew so little about him. Red would be a good choice though, maybe? At least Seungkwan assumed so. It was the color of Mingyu’s favorite blanket that he had brought with him and that one specific hoodie he wore way too many days in a row.

“You’re going to pull your hair out if you don’t stop that.”

Seungkwan froze. He had been scrolling through Jisoo’s phone with one hand, and the fingers of the other had at some point risen to fist through his hair. He had a bad habit of raking them through the fibers like that, but he could get excessive and start tugging at times too if he was distracted enough. He just let out a little noise through his nose to show he had heard, lowering his hand to let it curl alongside the other one around Jisoo’s phone.

Seungkwan wasn’t looking at him, his gaze downcast, but he could feel Jisoo staring into his face, trying to make eye contact.

“Something’s bothering you,” Jisoo then murmured matter-of-factly, and that was one of the few things Seungkwan disliked about him. Jisoo could _always_ read him like he was an open book, no matter what. It wasn’t even like Jisoo had known him very long, compared to someone like Hansol, for example. Their friendship was on a much shorter time span, but Jisoo just had an odd way of being able to pick him apart with just a few glances. It was one of the reasons he was a veterinarian in the first place; he could read behavioral cues and was a bit too empathetic for his own good at times.

Seungkwan dared himself to glance up at him, finding Jisoo blinking at him underneath scrunched, worried eyebrows. Seungkwan cleared his throat, a bit awkwardly, feeling like he was being put on the spot. “N-Not really. Why do you say that?”

_Nice going, Seungkwan. If you’re going to lie to him the least you could do is say it with your whole chest and not stutter over it._

“You always do that when you’re stressed out or if something is on your mind. The hair thing,” Jisoo told him, pursing his lips, deciding to try another route. “How have you been feeling?”

It was a trap, and Seungkwan knew it, but he fell for it anyway. All he had to do was just be upfront about it, and Jisoo would back off if he wanted space and not to talk about it, but no, he was stubborn and despite how emotional he could be, he didn’t like exposing them to other people if he could avoid it. It felt too intimate, in a risky way, like he was showing people some fragile side to him he didn’t want to share.

“Good.”

Jisoo’s left eyebrow inched further up his forehead as he frowned. “Seungkwan.”

Knowing good and well he had just stepped on a landmine, Seungkwan didn’t bother to argue anymore, just staring back at Jisoo as the older man let out a quiet sigh.

“You have dark circles under your eyes, you’ve gotten _way_ thinner since I saw you last time,” Jisoo started, and he was counting on his fingers as he announced each item, like it was a list he was keeping track of, “you’ve said time and time again you never wanted a hybrid but showed up with one, who is also showing signs of mental illness, _and_ you mentioned already that Mingyu talks just fine with Hansol, so I’m pretty sure he’s somehow involved in all this. You aren’t ‘good’, am I right?”

Seungkwan groaned, setting the phone down on the counter so he could scrub his palms over his face. He must have pressed the heels of them a bit too hard over his closed eyes because he could see colored spots blooming underneath the lids. “You’re _always_ right and it has this uncanny ability to get on my nerves. It’d be nice if you were wrong _just_ once.”

Jisoo’s laugh was short, almost like a giggle. “Now you’re starting to sound like Jeonghan. But seriously, I’m always right because you’re just easy to read. You suck at talking about your feelings _and_ you’re bad at hiding them. It isn’t difficult to tell what you’re thinking.”

Seungkwan squinted at him. “Then what am I thinking right now?”

“That you wish I would just stop talking already,” Jisoo replied, and despite how Seungkwan rolled his eyes, Jisoo leaned forward, resting his elbows on the countertop. “C’mon, Seungkwan, don’t be like this. It’s not healthy for you to bottle everything up all the time.”

“I’m not bottling. I’m just,” Seungkwan started, trailing off for a moment before he let out a frustrated noise, raking his fingers through his bangs as he tried to place the correct words on his tongue, “stressed. You know how it is with me. I get too sucked into work, I forget to eat way too often, I’m all worked up and overthinking then I can’t sleep. The usual. Now Mingyu’s living with me so everything’s just been… Amplified, I guess. It’s nothing serious.”

Jisoo pursed his lips for a moment, before he let out a little sigh through his nose, one that was clearly one of concern if the way his eyebrows upturned at the same time had anything to say about it. “Listen, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but like I said, I can tell it’s bothering you. If Hansol’s involved, I doubt you’ve discussed this with anyone, since he’s typically your go-to.”

“You really don’t have to keep calling me out like this. My scalp can only take so much dragging.” Seungkwan let out a groan, defeatedly slinking closer to the island within the kitchen so he could crawl into one of the chairs. “You know how busy Hansol is. He doesn’t need to be bogged down with my problems when he has his own life to worry about. I don’t need him worrying over me, _or_ Mingyu.”

“That isn’t really fair to you though, is it? The load is much heavier when you’re trying to bear the weight of it on solely your own shoulders,” Jisoo hummed. “Besides, if Hansol is involved, shouldn’t you tell him?”

“No—I’m not his responsibility and Mingyu isn’t anymore either,” Seungkwan blurted out before he could stop himself. He wasn’t sure why he even said it; it was almost like it just flew out robotically from his mouth before he realized what he was saying.

“Anymore?” Jisoo echoed.

Seungkwan sighed again, his shoulders slumping defeatedly, knowing he couldn’t run from the topic now that he had slipped like that. “You already know I didn’t want a hybrid. It wasn’t my idea. Hansol asked me if I could take care of Mingyu for a while and I was too weak to say no. He isn’t mine, or Hansol’s either, we’ve just… He stayed with Hansol at first but since he’s rarely ever home, he’s now living with me for the time being instead as part of the foster program.”

Jisoo’s eyebrows raised as he heard this. “Wait. You haven’t adopted him?”

“No, of course not. I’m just fostering him; he’s still up for adoption,” Seungkwan explained, frowning. “They didn’t have any room in the center left for him. Why?”

“Nothing. I’m just…surprised, I suppose. You two don’t act like you’re in a foster-only situation, you know? There’s not really that sense of estrangement you sometimes get with fosters. Like, the way Mingyu holds your hand and glues himself to you like he does is usually something you only see with hybrids that are used to their owners,” Jisoo said.

Seungkwan let out a snort. “Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t like me at all, actually. You know, before Hansol dropped him off, he told me Mingyu’s talkative and affectionate. And he is, but only with Hansol. It’s like a total one-eighty if Mingyu’s with him. It’s like his whole disposition changes. He’ll talk more, and not as soft-spoken as he is around me. His voice can be _loud_ , you know. Half the time I can barely touch him aside from him wanting to hold my hand if he needs to, but with Hansol he’ll cling to his arm and give him hugs with zero hesitation.”

“You sound jealous,” Jisoo said with a bit of a laugh.

“It’s not even that I’m jealous, I just don’t _get_ it. If he prefers Hansol over me, that’s fine, I just don’t understand why he acts the way he does with him. We’ve both known Mingyu around the same amount of time but the way he acts around me versus how he does with Hansol are just so different,” Seungkwan said with a sigh. “I just don’t know what to do about it and I don’t really think that’s helping my stress levels either. I don’t want him to be anxious; I want him to feel comfortable around me and everything, but it’s almost like no matter how hard I try I’m not making progress. It almost makes me feel useless, some days.”

“Well, first of all, you aren’t useless. You’re taking good care of him; you obviously care about him. That in itself is a positive. However, there’s some kind of difference between you two that Mingyu sees, even if we don’t, that makes him act the way he does. Sure, Mingyu has anxiety, but there’s obvious trust that he harbors towards Hansol if he’s more talkative and cuddlier with him,” Jisoo pointed out, “and I know you don’t want to hear this, but to me, this just sounds like he trusts Hansol far more than he trusts you. There’s something about you, or the situation he’s in, that is creating a lack of trust or a feeling of insecurity. Has he told you anything about this?”

Seungkwan grimaced. He wasn’t surprised, but it still hurt to hear it. “I’ve tried talking to him about a few things, but he shuts down every time. I can’t judge, you know I’m shit about talking about my feelings, but he completely powers off and gets distant if it’s anything that makes him feel even remotely uncomfortable.”

“What have you guys talked about?”

“Honestly, only a couple things regarding his personal life. He’s gotten upset every time, too. I did ask Hansol what his background is, but Hansol doesn’t know. He just knows he’s gone through multiple homes so far, and that since he wasn’t properly socialized or given enough energy outlets in his first home, he developed anxiety,” Seungkwan said softly, “and when I was talking to Mingyu about bringing him here to see you guys, he was so happy. He told me it’s been ages since he got to play with another hybrid at all, and I just felt…nauseous, almost, hearing him say that. I figured he doesn’t want to talk about his past homes or owners, because after what he’s told me so far, I just got such a bad feeling, but…”

“And you said he was with Hansol before he came to your place? How did he take it when Hansol passed him over to you?”

“He was with Hansol for a few weeks, but,” Seungkwan started, biting his lip, “he didn’t take it well. He cried, a _lot_ , after Hansol left. He cried himself to sleep the first night.”

The gears in Jisoo’s mind were turning, his eyes almost seeming cloudy as he thought about it.

“Seungkwan, I don’t think it’s _you_ that Mingyu has a problem with, in terms of trust. I think, based on how he holds your hand and depends on you, that he does trust you as an actual person and as a temporary guardian. But… I think Mingyu is still subconsciously afraid you’re going to hurt him,” Jisoo murmured, his voice soft but the weight of the words felt like they were practically crushing Seungkwan as he heard them. “We don’t know what Mingyu has been through, but I need you to try to imagine this entire situation from his perspective. You’ve been through multiple homes, living with different people. You get comfortable, then you’re moved around again. You just told me he developed anxiety after living with his first owner. I’m hoping it’s like you say it is, that it’s just from little exercise and too much thinking and not a lot of attention, but what about the other homes he’s been in? It’s entirely possible that he’s been hurt by someone who was supposed to protect him.

“Mingyu does not have a sense of security. That is the main issue he has with you, if you want my best guess. You are not mean to him, you take care of him, you want the best for him, but there is still that _feeling_ of safety that he needs and doesn’t seem to be getting. You haven’t done anything wrong, Seungkwan, but I need you to think about it. He was just passed off, yet again, to a stranger. Yet again, he had the rug ripped out from underneath him and had his whole world turned upside down. I’m not really surprised he doesn’t feel comfortable yet, because to Mingyu, there’s no guarantee. There’s no for sure promise you’re keeping him, because he knows you’re only fostering him. His brain can’t settle down because he knows sooner or later, he’s going to be moving again and be with someone new all over again. I’m pretty sure the only reason he still feels comfortable with Hansol is because Hansol is still in his life and making an effort to see and spend time with him. Even though Hansol isn’t his owner, Mingyu does still feel like Hansol cares about him and has his best interests at heart, like making sure he has someone around to take care of him when he can’t.”

“Your scent isn’t really helping things either.”

The sudden addition of a third voice made Seungkwan and Jisoo jump, and the pair turned their attention to the doorway to find Jeonghan standing there. How long had he been listening?

“Jeonghan,” Jisoo started tersely, letting out a little sigh, “I told you to go play with Seungcheol and Mingyu. We’re talking.”

“I know, but I asked Mingyu if he wanted anything to drink so I’m getting him something,” Jeonghan argued, a notable whine in his voice. He gave Jisoo a little pout as he walked into the kitchen. His brown ears were folded down unhappily, almost entirely flat against his head. “I’ll leave in a second.”

“Wait,” Seungkwan interrupted. Jeonghan paused as he heard this, swiveling on his heel as he stood there with the refrigerator door propped open. “What were you talking about a second ago? About my scent.”

“You know we as hybrids can smell things that you guys as humans can’t, right?” Jeonghan rummaged around in the fridge, pulling out a couple juice boxes before kicking the door shut with his foot. “People smell differently depending on how they’re feeling. When people are happy or neutral, they smell fine. But when people are sick, sad, or angry, the scent they have usually gets this, almost like…bitter undertone to it. You smell like that.”

Seungkwan swallowed, easily recalling the time Mingyu said to him that he smelled angry.

“I know you, and you aren’t looking so good today, so I figured it’s just because you’re tired and stressed out. But… Like I said, that’s because I know you,” Jeonghan elaborated, “Mingyu doesn’t know you like we three do. I’m sure he can smell it too, but he doesn’t understand _why_ you smell the way you do right now. It’s probably a bit intimidating to him.”

Oh. So that was probably part of it, too. Even though Hansol was always busy, he was rarely stressed out. Hansol was usually the calm and collected type, even under pressure. He doubted Hansol smelled like that; it meant Hansol had a far more comforting and welcoming presence than Seungkwan did.

There was a slight wobble in his voice, because it _hurt_ , realizing all these things. “What should I do?”

“Oh, Seungkwan, it’s okay,” Jisoo said softly, one hand reaching across the island to grab Seungkwan’s hand to hold it still, because he was starting to rake his nails over the countertop in frustration. “You don’t have to get upset. You just have to let Mingyu go at his own pace. You can’t force someone, anyone, to become comfortable around new people or in a new situation. I think for right now you should just keep doing what you’re doing and just try to add in talking to him more, if he’ll let you.”

“Yeah,” was all Seungkwan could say, his shoulders slumped.

“Maybe letting him hang out here more often would help, too. He could get some more socialization in that way. I think it’d be good for him to be around people more often, even other hybrids. Maybe he and Seungcheol could even be workout buddies,” Jisoo offered, squeezing Seungkwan’s hand, trying to cheer him up. “He likes to do things with his hands, so he’d probably like building things with Jeonghan or making jewelry with me. You know I’m at the clinic a lot, but he’s more than welcome here any time."

Seungkwan forced a smile, but it honestly felt as awful as it looked. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good. You two should come over on Christmas eve, too. We can have another get-together like we did last year; keep it small and casual. Us three, you and Mingyu, Hansol, and if Mingyu has any friends he wants to come, they can,” Jisoo said, grinning. “I’m not sure if he has plans for the holidays, but if Jihoon will be around, I can invite him and Wonwoo, too. I think it’d be fun. If Mingyu hasn’t met them yet, I think it’d be good for him. Wonwoo is far less chaotic than Seungcheol and Jeonghan are.”

“Hey,” Jeonghan complained, giving Jisoo a dirty look from his current spot in the doorway, the sum of juice boxes still cradled in his arms. “We aren’t _that_ bad.”

Ignoring him, Seungkwan just nodded, feeling overwhelmed. There was just so much to take in, and his hand felt so heavy underneath Jisoo’s own as the older man squeezed it in a comforting manner.

“It’s not a lost cause, Seungkwan. It’ll just take work and some patience.”

He hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're FINALLY about to meet wonwoo i'm so excited :'-) this was the longest chapter ever so far at almost 9k, so i hope the wait was worth it!! i also really appreciate your patience on how long this took. tbh i've been... Not Okay™ lately but i'm trying,,


	5. Chapter 5

Jeonghan and Seungcheol had given him a tour of the house earlier. Mingyu kept a gentle grip on Jeonghan’s hand as he awkwardly followed the two of them around in silence. Seungcheol told him about the house and what it was like living with Jisoo, and Mingyu just nodded along, not really sure of what to even say in response to all that. The hybrids had their own bedrooms, separate from each other and from Jisoo as well. After this was explained to him, though, Jeonghan suddenly turned to face him with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“We have our own rooms but it’s more fun to go into Shua’s and make him share his bed, especially when it’s cold outside.”

The three were obviously close. Physical distance didn’t seem to be a problem at all and Jeonghan even had nicknames for Jisoo, too. Mingyu’s shoulders drooped a little. He had never really had nicknames before until he had been staying with Hansol, and he missed it sometimes. There wasn’t anything _wrong_ with Seungkwan calling him ‘Mingyu’; it was his name, for crying out loud. But it just felt a little different, being called something else. Hansol hadn’t really asked, just once called him ‘Gyu’ accidentally, but Mingyu liked it, and it stuck after that. Sometimes Hansol called him things like ‘buddy’ or ‘man’, and Mingyu knew it was because Hansol was just the laidback type, so he didn’t mind. It was just a way Hansol showed him affection.

But he and Seungkwan weren’t that close, not to mention that Seungkwan and Hansol had different personalities, too. Wouldn’t it be weird to ask Seungkwan to give him a nickname?

They were in Seungcheol’s room when Jeonghan had asked if he was thirsty, and Mingyu kind of regretted nodding, because Jeonghan pulled his hand away so that he could go downstairs to get them drinks. He knew he probably looked ridiculous, wanting to cling onto someone all the time, but it _helped_.

Mingyu was awkwardly curled up in one of the beanbag chairs in Seungcheol’s room, listening to him talk about Jisoo and his job, when Jeonghan finally returned.

“Shua asked if we could get the grill going in a bit to make lunch,” he announced, handing Mingyu a juice box, and tossing one to Seungcheol, before flopping unceremoniously onto the floor on his bottom, like he didn’t have a care in the world. “Gotta get my barbecue shoes on.”

Mingyu paused in sipping his drink to instead start nibbling on the straw, deciding to just listen, because he had _zero_ idea what Jeonghan was talking about.

Seungcheol seemed to get it though, because he was grinning. “Do you want me to make some beans?”

“I’m thinking about _those beans_.”

The two of them suddenly cracked up laughing, leaving Mingyu glancing back and forth at them with his straw still wedged between his teeth. Okay, so they were a little weird, but it was charming in a way.

“Sorry, Mingyu,” Seungcheol said, once the giggling died down, “we have a lot of inside jokes. We’ve lived together too long and having a group chat on our phones with Shua doesn’t help much either.”

“There’s some weird shit that goes on in there sometimes,” Jeonghan agreed, before he looked over at Mingyu. He perked up, suddenly digging around in the pocket of his hoodie and pulling out his phone. “You should give us your number! We could make a group chat with you, too.”

Mingyu blinked as the attention was on him. He shrank into himself a little, a low churning sensation in his stomach all of a sudden. He didn’t want to disappoint them, but what could he do? Biting harder on his straw, Mingyu shook his head.

“No?” Jeonghan and Seungcheol blinked at him for a moment, visibly confused. Jeonghan’s head tilted slightly to one side, his brown ears twitching as he did so. “You don’t want to?”

Mingyu shook his head.

“Wait… Are you saying you don’t have a phone?”

Mingyu nodded this time.

“Really?” The two hybrids said in unison, their eyes now all wide and surprised. Mingyu gave them another little nod, somehow managing to shrink down even further into his hoodie, feeling weirdly self-conscious. “How come?”

Mingyu shrugged. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to answer; he simply didn’t know how to, because he didn’t know why either. He had asked for one before, but he was told no, so he eventually quit asking.

“Lame. Hey, wait! I think we still have Shua’s old model in one of the drawers downstairs,” Jeonghan said, his tail swishing across the floor excitedly, “he doesn’t use it anymore, but it still works. I think he’d be fine with you keeping it, since he was going to get rid of it anyway. Seungkwan would just need to get you a sim card to go in it.”

Before Mingyu could protest, Seungcheol continued. “I think it’d be good for you, too. I mean, it would give you more freedom but more safety in a way. For us, Jisoo doesn’t mind if we go outside on our own if we have our collars on, but it’s nice to have a way for us to contact him just in case there’s an emergency, you know?”

“And if you want to hang out, you could just text us,” Jeonghan said, grinning. “Seriously, don’t be a stranger. We don’t get to see new faces very often.”

Mingyu finally gave the straw mercy, ignoring how he had chewed little holes in the plastic from his stupidly sharp canines by the time he pulled it out of his mouth, and nodded.

* * *

It was snowing outside, and Mingyu was legitimately sweating.

He didn’t know why in the hell he was so anxious, because everyone was so _nice,_ but he couldn’t shake the bundle of nerves out of his belly. Jisoo had been soft-spoken with him, Jeonghan had offered to hold his hand, and Seungcheol was friendly too, but he still had some sort of haze, almost, clouding his brain. It was like he wanted to relax but his mind just wouldn’t let him, instead leaving him standing there awkwardly with his thoughts going way too fast and beads of nervous sweat forming in his hairline and at the base of his neck.

Currently, it was just him and Jeonghan alone together. Seungcheol had been with them until a few minutes ago, and if Mingyu stood on his tiptoes, he could look through the glass door of the patio and catch glimpses of him moving around in the kitchen. He and Jeonghan had chatted for a few minutes while Mingyu hovered silently beside them, and now that Seungcheol had went back inside to get the food ready, there was a rather awkward silence between him and Jeonghan. Mingyu already knew he wasn’t the best with strangers, but he didn’t even know what to say to Jeonghan. It left him standing there beside him, watching Jeonghan clean the grill off with a hard brush, in total silence.

Thankfully, Jeonghan seemed to read his mind that the atmosphere between them was rather tense, and decided to try to start a conversation.

“So, Mingyu,” Jeonghan started, talking over the sound of the brush scrubbing along the surface of the grill, “where do you come from?”

There was a pause as Jeonghan waited for Mingyu to respond. However, Mingyu kept quiet. He _wanted_ to say something, but it was like his voice was getting caught in his throat and nothing would actually come out. But Jeonghan didn’t seem surprised, merely letting out a little hum of acknowledgment as his hands halted in their work so that he could twist sideways to face Mingyu properly.

Their eyes locked, and the corners of Jeonghan’s lips twitched, like he was trying to smile. “I mean, hey, it makes you feel any better, Shua found me in a dumpster. That’s a bit hard to beat.”

Jeonghan somewhat reminded him of Seungkwan. They weren’t particularly alike personality-wise, no, but Jeonghan didn’t pressure him to talk, just like Seungkwan. If Mingyu chose to not respond to questions verbally and kept quiet no one egged him on to ‘properly’ reply. Despite how Mingyu hadn’t spoke when Jeonghan had asked him something, Jeonghan let it go, and after that side comment, he merely went back to cleaning the grill.

Mingyu watched him. Little snowflakes were dusting across the crown of Jeonghan’s head and sticking to his brunet hair and the cat ears sticking out of the fibers that were twitching every now and again. Curiosity was prickling the inside of his stomach, and, taking a brief moment to lick at his chapped lips, Mingyu at last found it within him to overcome his nerves, and open his mouth for the first time since he had arrived at Jisoo’s house.

“Why do you call him that?”

“Oh, thank god. You _can_ talk.” Jeonghan’s gloved hands immediately fell still, and he lifted his head again so that he could look Mingyu in the eyes. He _did_ grin this time, toothy and wide. “I was getting worried I wouldn’t be able to hear your voice at all today. But what are you talking about? I don’t think I’m following.”

“Um,” Mingyu started, fumbling briefly over his words. He was still unaccustomed to being around someone new, and the way Jeonghan was looking at him with curious eyes wasn’t really helping his nerves. Mingyu swallowed, and tried again. “You call him Shua. Why?”

“Oh,” Jeonghan then said, humming. “Well, this is kind of a long story. I’m not sure how much Seungkwan told you about him, but he did his undergraduate degree overseas as an exchange student. We met way back then. He went by Joshua with the kids at his university, and I kind of just shortened it to Shua. It was a pretty harmless teasing type of thing at first, but it stuck.”

“Overseas…?” Mingyu started, his voice wavering for a split second as his brain tried to process what Jeonghan was telling him. “You mean you aren’t from Korea?”

“No, I am. I just… Life got complicated. You know how it can be, being a hybrid. Most of us eventually get our fairy tale ending, but it’s common for us to suffer in one way or another before it happens. Switching homes, waiting ages to be adopted, whatever. I was both of those,” Jeonghan explained, abandoning his brush to instead sink into one of the chairs on the patio. Mingyu followed him, slowly sitting into the one next to him. “Before I met Shua, I lived with a different family for _years._ Things change over time, you know? We moved abroad at some point. And then one day, after all that, they decided they didn’t want me anymore. Basically, I got booted out and was stuck over there in the States with no way home and no idea what I was doing or how anything worked. So, I pretty much became a stray after that. Bounced around a lot, couldn’t find anyone that wanted me, yadda yadda. This went on for…I don’t know, maybe six months or so? Then I met Shua.”

Jeonghan’s eyes were distant, but he was smiling anyway, even if it was in an aching, reminiscent sort of way.

“He looked like a dweeb, just a twig with a stupid haircut and some beat up white sneakers and a hoodie twice his size. He lived in some apartment complex just outside of his school’s campus with one of his friends. He went out one night to take his garbage out and caught me rummaging around in the bins. And I fully expected him to call someone, animal control or _something_ , but,” Jeonghan said, “he didn’t. He took me home. He was just a _kid_ , Mingyu, some random twenty-year-old boy living on ramen and canned soup, but he took me in. His apartment complex didn’t even allow hybrids, but he kept me anyway. It was kind of insane, honestly. He didn’t have to, but he gave me a place to stay, he fed me, he even helped hide me when they had inspections so we didn’t get in trouble.”

“Then you came back here?”

“Mm. When Shua completed his undergrad, he had to go back to his home in Korea. He told me this before, way in advance, so I was fully prepared for him to dump me off when it was time for him to return. But he just,” Jeonghan murmured, a hitch in his voice like he was about to start crying, “he took me with him. I still remember the day he graduated. I wasn’t allowed to go to his ceremony since I’m a hybrid, so I was just kinda hanging out in his apartment waiting for the big moment because I knew, now that school was over, he’d have to go. And you know what he did? He came home from his ceremony with damn adoption papers. He officially adopted me so he could keep me. He went back, and I got to go with him, and it’s not one of my proudest moments, but I cried my eyes out in his shoulder on the flight. I’ve never… I’ve never had anyone love me as much as he does. I’d do _anything_ for him, Mingyu.

“Seungcheol didn’t come into our lives at all until a few years after all this. Seungcheol has always lived here in Korea. Long story short, he got hit by a car. He was a stray, so no one wanted him, especially since he was injured. Knowing Shua and his stupidly big heart, he took Seungcheol in. He was a foster fail, essentially. Shua said he was just going to foster him while his injuries healed, but wound up keeping him in the end. He’s been with us ever since,” Jeonghan explained, his gaze falling, “but… If you want me to be honest, we didn’t have a good relationship initially. Seungcheol was really anxious, and I was an asshole to him on top of it. We used to fight a lot. You know hybrids can get really territorial, and I didn’t like to share Shua with him either. After I was thrown away before, I just had this fear that Shua would one day choose him over me… So, I was mean to him. I still regret it, even if he’s already forgiven me for it. He didn’t deserve me picking on him all the time, especially when he hadn’t done anything wrong and was already going through so much shit.”

“What made you change your mind?” Mingyu then asked him, his voice soft, unjudgmental despite the weight of Jeonghan’s words, and his eyes shining curiously.

Jeonghan paused, his face clouding over as he seemed to be debating on how to respond.

_“Get the fuck_ off _me,” Jeonghan hissed as he squirmed uselessly. He could barely move, let alone get any leverage. Seungcheol was bigger than him, and so much stronger too, the heaviness of his body still keeping Jeonghan pinned to the floor as Seungcheol remained seated atop of his pelvis. Jeonghan was already sinking his claws into Seungcheol’s forearms when the dog hybrid proceeded to slam those limbs to the ground too, fingers circling around the wrists tightly. Jeonghan’s tail was starting to fluff up angrily, and his ears were flattened against his head. “Seungcheol, I’m warning you—”_

_“What’re you gonna do? I’ve already seen all your tricks,” Seungcheol rumbled above him, and the way he tightened his grip around the boniness of Jeonghan’s wrists was bordering on painful. “What’s your problem? You’ve been so fucking pissy for absolutely no reason. What does Jisoo even see in you?”_

_Of all the things Seungcheol could have said to him, that cut the deepest. Jeonghan froze, every muscle in his body going stiff as he stared up at Seungcheol. He looked furious, face warped and brow drawn tight, and Jeonghan was pretty sure his fingers were going to leave bruises from how hard he was gripping him. But he probably deserved it, because Seungcheol’s arms were bleeding from where Jeonghan had scratched him, just like how he probably deserved that comment too. What_ did _Jisoo see in him? He wasn’t very likeable, and he was so ordinary, just some regular old tabby cat…_

_Jisoo could have so much more, so much better._

_His nose prickled and his eyes were burning. The last thing he saw was Seungcheol’s previously angry face suddenly morph into shock, before the tears clouded his vision and he couldn’t see anymore. A weak sob rose up in the back of his throat, and Jeonghan began to cry._

Jeonghan let out a long sigh. “Well, one day when Shua was at work, we got into a huge fight. Verbally and physically. Seungcheol kind of woke me up to a lot of things, even if it was unintentional. Things weren’t perfect after that, of course, but we had a lot of talking and with Shua, too. It took a while for everything to cool down, but we got there eventually. Then the years went by, and now here we are.”

“You guys have been through a lot.” Mingyu bit his lip. His voice was a little shaky, somewhat scratchy from not having used it for the past couple of hours. “Um… I just asked about his name. Why are you telling me all of this?”

“I have nothing to hide. Besides, everyone else knows. I want to be friends with you, so it’s only fair for you to know, too.” Jeonghan glanced over at him, misty eyes meeting Mingyu’s own. “I also thought it may help you. I know you’re still looking for a home. I just wanted you to know that no matter how rough it gets, you can get your happy ending too, Mingyu, even if you don’t believe you will.”

Before Mingyu could formulate a response, the patio door suddenly flung open, and out stumbled Seungcheol, balancing a couple trays in his arms.

“So, I think the meat has been in the marinade long enough? Shua and I just cut up some bell peppers too and—” Having just kicked the door closed, Seungcheol paused as he looked over at Jeonghan and Mingyu, seeming to have sensed that he was interrupting something. “What’s the matter with you guys?”

“Nothing,” Jeonghan told him, already heaving his weight out of his chair.

Seungcheol didn’t seem convinced though, noticeably squinting a bit as Jeonghan approached him to take one of the dishes out of his arms, as if he was trying to see through him. “Your eyes are wet.”

“Cheol, I’m fine,” Jeonghan sighed, “I was just telling him how we met Shua.”

“Oh,” Seungcheol murmured, his facial features softening a bit. The topic must have been somewhat sensitive, because Seungcheol was speaking softer now, trying his hardest to meet Jeonghan’s eyes. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Mm,” Jeonghan hummed, his body settled in front of the grill as he began working on switching it on, “now stop fussing over me, you’re gonna give me a complex.”

Seungcheol let out a surprised laugh, short and a bit confused, as he gave Jeonghan a playful swat on the hand. Jeonghan merely stuck his tongue out at him, followed by a round of short, pitched giggling.

Mingyu found himself standing near them in an awkward silence, unsure what to say. The two hybrids were huddled together at this point, and Mingyu could see how Jeonghan’s striped, brown tail was lazily wrapping itself, loosely, around Seungcheol’s waist as they began to work on cooking.

Deep down, somewhere in the bottom of his stomach, Mingyu felt a low, bitter burn of jealousy, as he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be that close with _anyone._

* * *

Mingyu found himself, along with the four other men, huddled in a circle around the firepit in Jisoo’s backyard later on in the day. Mingyu had to admit, it was pleasant. As a hybrid, his body temperature was higher than a normal human’s anyway, so he wasn’t cold, but it seemed like Jisoo and Seungkwan were even comfortable from the flames and not being bothered by the light snow flurries falling from the dim sky. The whole thing looked nice, too, and he was a bit impressed that Jisoo and Seungcheol had done most of the work themselves, having built the pit out in the garden with some stone a few years ago and hanging up some strings of lights to make it nice and cozy.

Something else that Mingyu noticed, was that despite his size, Jeonghan was _loud_. His general speaking voice was fine, but as they sat there, Jisoo and Jeonghan on one of the wooden benches with Mingyu in a separate chair, a couple feet away, he could hear Jeonghan purring. He had almost rumbling purrs that reminded Mingyu of Soonyoung. Admittedly, Mingyu knew he wasn’t the most informed about cats or cat hybrids. Did they just purr louder the happier they were?

“I texted Jihoon earlier,” Jisoo was saying, completely calm as if he wasn’t bothered at all that Jeonghan had his face tucked into the crook of his neck and was purring like his life depended on it. “He said he’s gonna come and bring Wonwoo with him, too. Mingyu, maybe you two could be friends? Seungkwan told me about some of your hobbies and it sounds like you guys have a lot in common, even if Wonwoo is a cat instead of a dog.”

Mingyu bit softly on his lower lip, nodding as he kept his gaze trained on the marshmallow he was working on roasting. He attracted a lot of cats, huh? Soonyoung, Jeonghan, now Wonwoo apparently. He did wonder what Wonwoo would be like, though. Soonyoung was very vocal and boisterous, but almost overly affectionate. Jeonghan was a lot calmer, but mischievous and more selective with touch. What about this Wonwoo guy? He was curious about his ears, too. Soonyoung and Jeonghan both had tall, pointy ears, but Jeonghan’s brown ones were different from Soonyoung’s orange ones.

Would he ever get to see Soonyoung again? Part of him wanted to ask Seungkwan or Jisoo if Soonyoung and Junhui could come to the party too, but it’d probably be rude… Maybe he shouldn’t say anything.

Mingyu pulled his roasting stick out of the flames so he could inspect his marshmallow. Deeming it good enough, he started nibbling on it as he went back to listening to the conversation. As usual, he found himself silent, just letting the words wash over him rather than actually participating. He preferred it that way, listening instead of talking. It was more comfortable.

Mingyu had managed to relax a little, compared to when he had first arrived at the house. His heart didn’t feel like it was about to burst out of his chest for once and his stomach had stopped aching from nerves, so that was an improvement. Sometimes, Mingyu didn’t know who or what they were all talking about, but he didn’t mind. Seungkwan, sitting beside him, occasionally reached over to help him with his marshmallows if he saw that Mingyu was on the cusp of burning them.

It was nice.

Eventually, things began to wind down, and Seungcheol was the first to stand up, stretching his arms overhead as a low pop emitted from somewhere in his back. “I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

“It is getting kind of late,” Seungkwan agreed, “Mingyu and I should get ready to go home, too.”

“Sure,” Jisoo hummed, before turning his attention onto Seungcheol. “Take Jeonghan with you, while you’re at it.”

At long last, Jeonghan picked his head up, prying it out of the narrow space where Jisoo’s neck met his shoulder to give him a dirty look. “I’m not tired.”

“Yes, you are,” Jisoo said simply, reaching down to pinch lightly at Jeonghan’s tail, which was wrapped stupidly tight around Jisoo’s waist at the moment. “You didn’t get your lunchtime nap today and your purring sounds like a freight train right now. I know you.”

Jeonghan grumbled something incoherent under his breath, but obediently, his tail began to unfurl from its current spot, before it fell away entirely. Jeonghan finally stood up, stretching a bit too before turning his attention onto Seungkwan.

“Thanks for coming,” he said, giving Seungkwan a hug before peeling himself away and meeting Seungkwan’s eyes, “make sure you come visit more often. We don’t see you very much nowadays.”

Seungkwan’s nose wrinkled a bit as he grimaced. “Yeah, I know. I’ll keep in touch. Even if I can’t come over, maybe Mingyu could hang out with you guys.”

Deeming that an acceptable response, Jeonghan turned his gaze onto Mingyu. Unaccustomed to being in the spotlight, Mingyu unconsciously shrank down in his chair a little, unsure as to what Jeonghan was going to say to him, but the cat hybrid just offered him a thin, tired smile.

“I’m glad I got to meet you today,” he said, shifting his weight uncertainly from foot to foot, “can I give you a hug goodbye?”

A bit surprised by the request, Mingyu hesitated for a moment. He didn’t mind hugs; he _liked_ physical contact, actually, hugs included, but Jeonghan was someone he had just met and Mingyu hadn’t been anticipating it. Usually, it felt a bit weird to be touchy with people he didn’t know well. But then again, Jeonghan had been nothing but kind to him…

Mingyu finally nodded, back going abnormally straight as Jeonghan proceeded to enclose him in his arms. He sat there for a moment before his own limbs awkwardly came to rest on Jeonghan’s back. It felt odd, but not particularly bad. Jeonghan’s hugs didn’t feel like Hansol’s or Soonyoung’s, but they were fine. Just different.

Seungcheol of course wanted to give him one too, and his was much tighter, stronger. Mingyu wasn’t surprised though, easily able to remember how Seungcheol had picked him up and off the floor earlier when he had first walked into the house.

With the farewells over, Jeonghan and Seungcheol turned away so they could begin to head back inside. They stopped in front of Jisoo though, and there was a brief pause, before Jeonghan suddenly leaned down and pecked Jisoo right on the mouth.

Mingyu’s mind spun.

It was brief, a kiss that lasted only a moment. Jeonghan pulled away then, pouting. “Night.”

“Good night,” Jisoo murmured. “Don’t look so sour, your face might get stuck like that.”

“Whatever. I’d still be cute,” Jeonghan muttered, nose scrunched unhappily as Seungcheol laughed.

Mingyu knew he was staring, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away, his brain reeling, even more so when Seungcheol leaned over to do the exact same thing. Completely shellshocked, Mingyu watched as the two hybrids began to walk towards the patio door, Seungcheol’s tail wagging as they left.

He was in a bit of a haze, standing there rather numbly as Seungkwan and Jisoo wrapped up the remnants of their conversation before exchanging goodbyes as well. Jisoo probably felt how stiff he was when he hugged him, but Mingyu couldn’t really bring himself to care too much about it.

“See you guys next week!”

Seungkwan held his hand when they left. The snow was getting a bit heavier at this point and Seungkwan’s fingers were getting cold. Mingyu unconsciously squeezed them, trying to see if the underlying heat in his palms was enough to warm the digits up, but also in an attempt of feeling like he had control over his body again.

Seungkwan didn’t comment on the way Mingyu was practically crushing his hand by now, seeming used to it after it had happened so many times over the past couple weeks. “I told you that they would like you. Did you guys have fun?”

Mingyu nodded.

“I’ll have to get you a sim card for that phone so you guys can keep in touch. I’m really glad they gave that to you,” Seungkwan rambled, “just think, now you can text Hansol whenever you want. I’m sure he has Junhui’s and Soonyoung’s numbers so you can contact them too. You probably miss them to death.”

Of course, he did. Mingyu didn’t respond though. There was too much on his mind at the moment. He was still trying to process everything that had happened back at the house, and the constant stimulation he had experienced back-to-back now left him feeling tired. His silence seemed to pique Seungkwan’s interest, because the smaller man’s head swiveled to one side to give him a curious look.

“Is something bothering you?” Seungkwan asked, his lips pulling into a frown. “You’re quieter than you usually are.”

What was he supposed to say to that? Could he ask Seungkwan if there was a way for Soonyoung to be invited to Jisoo’s? Was he allowed to ask about Jisoo? Would it be rude of him to ask about the way Jeonghan and Seungcheol acted? Would Seungkwan be angry if he asked too many questions?

“Mingyu?” Seungkwan tried again, his fingers wiggling uselessly in Mingyu’s grip as if he was trying to pull away, but Mingyu didn’t let him go. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”

It was soft, but Mingyu heard it, snapping him out of his head. The feeling of skin rubbing against his own pried him out of his thoughts. Seungkwan was trying to meet his gaze, and when they locked eyes, Mingyu felt his heart do a little squeeze in his chest. He hated when Seungkwan looked at him like that, all wide-eyed and worried. He didn’t want to be a bother.

So, to stop being one, he decided to bite the bullet and open his mouth. “Jeonghan and Seungcheol…”

Seungkwan raised a curious eyebrow. “What about them?”

Mingyu’s jaw visibly worked as he contemplated how to respond. “They kissed Jisoo.”

“Oh,” Seungkwan started, seeming way more casual about the entire thing than how Mingyu currently felt. “Some hybrids and owners are just really close, you know? It’s just how they show they love each other.”

“You say you love me all the time but then how come you don’t kiss me like they do?”

It was out before he could stop himself. Seungkwan blinked once, twice, before his face suddenly turned red, apples of his cheeks burning a notable pink. It instantly made Mingyu wish he could take it back. He shouldn’t have said it. Why did he always do this, opening his mouth to say stupid things?

“Mingyu—You know I care about you, but the relationship Jisoo has with Jeonghan and Seungcheol isn’t quite like ours,” Seungkwan stammered, visibly taken aback. “The three of them are very touchy and have known each other for a _long_ time. There’s—a lot of feelings involved. You know?”

He tried to ignore the way his heart did a twist in his ribcage. He just nodded in silence, and Seungkwan immediately dropped the topic, clearly uncomfortable. Mingyu hoped it didn’t show on his face, because he didn’t want to make things any worse, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t disappointed. Why was it always different when it came to the other hybrids he had met over his lifetime? Jeonghan and Seungcheol were obviously openly affectionate with Jisoo, not to mention the nicknames and bed-sharing. Even Soonyoung had mentioned to him before that Junhui shared the bed with him so he didn’t have to sleep alone because he was afraid of the dark. Why did everyone else follow a pattern that he himself never could achieve? Even in his old homes, affection was sparse, and Mingyu slept by himself. Hansol had been generous with touch, but he hadn’t been around very much. Part of him had gotten his hopes up that Seungkwan would be different, but…

Did he just not deserve it?

Mingyu kept his eyes open, refusing to blink in hopes that the dampness along the rims would dry out.

He shouldn’t have even asked in the first place.

* * *

As usual, the conversation was swept under the rug, but it was a bit awkward being around Seungkwan for a few days after that. Still, at least they were on cordial terms. As promised, Seungkwan purchased a sim card for the phone that Jisoo had given him, and taught him how to use it.

Having a phone, for Mingyu, was like a whole other universe. He suddenly had new puzzle games to play, eBooks he could read, people he could _talk_ to. Jeonghan and Seungcheol added him to a group chat. He was able to keep in touch with Hansol now, and, to his excitement, Hansol had forwarded his info along to Junhui and Soonyoung. He could talk to Soonyoung _any_ time he wanted. Seungkwan taught him to do video calls, and honestly, seeing Soonyoung’s face again was one of the brightest moments Mingyu had in a long time.

They were all such simple, little things, but they made him happier, and even more so to hear from Soonyoung that he and Junhui would be coming to Jisoo’s party too.

It was almost unreal, knowing he’d finally be able to see his friend again in only a couple of days. _Best_ friend, if Mingyu was bold enough to say so. Mingyu knew he shouldn’t ask, but he couldn’t help himself, bringing it up to Soonyoung during one of their calls.

_“How did you get invited?”_

_“Hansol asked Jisoo.” Soonyoung just laughed, bright and loud as always. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter how, just that it’s happening. I’m so excited to see you.”_

It felt like he _finally_ had something to look forward to in a world that had been turned so upside-down.

* * *

Mingyu didn’t sleep much in general, but the night before they were supposed to head to Jisoo’s house, he was wired. He was even up before Seungkwan, which was a feat in itself, considering how irregular Seungkwan’s sleep patterns were. He even had himself cleaned up and neat as a pin by the time Seungkwan crawled out of bed.

Lucky red sweater, check. Collar, check. Tail wagging without his control? Check, apparently.

They weren’t supposed to head over to Jisoo’s until that evening, so needless to say, Mingyu was antsy. The day drained away much slower than it usually did and by the time the two of them were getting ready to leave, it felt like he was trying to crawl out of his skin, anticipation and nerves prickling the inside of his stomach.

Nerves which, despite Mingyu telling himself weren’t necessary, wouldn’t leave. He was excited, of course, but there was that niggling part of his brain that made him feel anxious about the entire ordeal. Mingyu was a hybrid with a small circle, and always had been. He had already met everyone that was going to be attending, minus whoever the Jihoon and Wonwoo guys were, but Mingyu couldn’t ever count a time on his fingers where he had been in the same vicinity as seven – possibly even more – people at once. The thought was daunting, and worried him, but he was trying his best not to let it get the best of him.

Everything would be fine, Mingyu told himself, hand snaked around Seungkwan’s own as the smaller man led him into the house once again. Jisoo was the one to answer the door this time, eyes bright and two little fabric antlers protruding from his dark hair from a headband.

He was in good spirits as usual it seemed, just laughing when Seungkwan literally _cooed_ over him and went to pinch his cheek. “You look adorable.”

“Thanks,” Jisoo said, closing the door behind them. “Anyway, you made pretty good time. Hansol isn’t here yet but we have everyone else. Make yourself at home. Pretty much everyone is out back in the yard, but I have to keep Jeonghan and Soonyoung company in the kitchen so they don’t burn the house down and—”

“ _Mingyu?”_

Mingyu had been so fixated on Jisoo and what he was saying that he hadn’t noticed a _very_ familiar head pop out from around the corner that led to the kitchen, complete with a mop of black hair and two pointy orange ears.

That was all it took for Mingyu to abandon the conversation. His hand tugged away from Seungkwan’s without a second thought, socked feet thumping across the hardwood floor as he sprinted across the entranceway. He probably used a bit too much force because Soonyoung went stumbling backwards a few paces when Mingyu crashed – tackled, more like – into his arms. But it was worth it, because he was hugging Soonyoung and Soonyoung was hugging him _back_ in what felt like forever.

“Good to see you too,” Soonyoung said with a laugh, squirming in the cage of Mingyu’s arms in an attempt of freeing himself, but Mingyu only held on tighter. “C’mon, Mingyu, give me some breathing room. I’ll cuddle with you later.”

Begrudgingly, Mingyu unfurled his arms from around the smaller hybrid. He had almost forgotten that Jisoo and Seungkwan were still standing in the entranceway, watching them, until Jisoo suddenly spoke, successfully startling him in the process.

“Soonyoung, why don’t you guys head outside so you can let him talk to Junhui? He can meet Jihoon and Wonwoo while he’s at it. I can help Jeonghan with the food, don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, are you sure?” Soonyoung asked, one of his hands already worming into Mingyu’s grip regardless. “If you do need me though feel free to ask, I don’t mind helping out.”

Mingyu unconsciously glanced back at Seungkwan, trying to find some kind of sign that it was truly alright to just cut loose while others were busy.

“Go ahead.” Seungkwan just gave him a small smile coupled with a shooing motion with one hand, and that was enough to soothe his worries. “Go have fun with your friends.”

Soonyoung pulled him along after that, dragging him into the kitchen to say hello to Jeonghan on their way out to the yard. Not to Mingyu’s surprise at all, Jeonghan wanted to give him a hug, but it wound up being sideways and one-armed since Jeonghan was currently wearing an apron that was rather stained. No worries, Jeonghan could always give him a proper one later when Mingyu was ready to go home.

When Soonyoung led him to the patio door and pushed it open, the first thing that Mingyu noticed was the _noise._ The peaceful atmosphere he had experienced in the same spot just a few days ago was gone. There were too many voices all blending together, and music, and the sudden onslaught of smells and change in lighting wasn’t helping either.

A ball of anxiety almost instantly wadded itself up in his chest.

Seungcheol, Junhui, and a third man that Mingyu didn’t recognize were sitting on the patio together in a sloppy semicircle, and Mingyu could feel his heart working itself into his throat when they all turned to look at him and Soonyoung. Mingyu wasn’t used to being the center of attention, and wasn’t sure if he ever would be. If so, it definitely wasn’t going to be right now.

“Mingyu!” Junhui abruptly stood up, crossing over the bricks of the patio to pull Mingyu into his arms. “Wow, this is crazy, I haven’t seen you in so long! Have you been doing okay?”

Junhui didn’t hug him for long, pulling back to get a good look at Mingyu’s face, and seemed satisfied with the simple nod he received in return.

Seungcheol then motioned to the man sitting beside him. He lacked ears and a tail, so Mingyu assumed he was human. His hair was cut shorter than Soonyoung’s, but was the same simplistic shade of black. “Mingyu, this is Jihoon. He’s a friend of ours. He and Jisoo go pretty far back.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jihoon’s smile was small, soft. “I’m Wonwoo’s owner.”

He didn’t know what the hell was suddenly getting into him. This was a place he had been before, and these were people he _knew_ , that he spent time with, but he could feel his pulse starting to pick up speed anyway. Mingyu was trying to focus on Jihoon’s face, to imprint it into his mind, but it was as if his brain was elsewhere, too hyper focused on everything else around him to be concerned about Jihoon.

The music was too loud. Everyone was talking at once. Soonyoung had left the patio door open, so the blend of Seungkwan’s voice mixing with Jeonghan’s and Jisoo’s was overlapping with the four men out on the patio. Everyone was talking at a different volume, a different speed, and it was all blurring together in Mingyu’s head, and he couldn’t seem to tune it out. The strings of lights and outdoor lights fixated to the back wall of the house suddenly felt like they were blinding him and the smell of food cooking along with the fire burning was making him nauseous.

_“Where is Wonwoo, anyway?” “He was out here a few minutes ago, wasn’t he?” “No, I thought he was inside with you?” “He’s probably hiding somewhere, you know how antisocial Wonwoo can be.” “Still, he needs to meet Mingyu.” “Mingyu?” “Mingyu, you’re so pale all of a sudden. Are you okay?”_

He could feel Soonyoung’s hand curling around him again. The sudden addition of skin against skin, the way the fabric of Soonyoung’s jacket rubbed against him, the weight of his body against his own, sending a rush of panic through his brain. His palms were clammy, and he didn’t want to be touched, _don’t touch me—_

Mingyu twisted his arm away, letting out a noise he knew probably sounded far more animalistic than it did human, but he couldn’t tell what anyone’s expressions were, not when he had scrunched his eyes shut. It only blocked out so much, because he could still hear, and it was just too much.

His heartbeat was pounding away in his eardrums. If it wasn’t for the way he could feel the breaths tearing in and out of his throat he wouldn’t even be sure if he was breathing, but he was, ragged and way too fast.

_I can’t. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t—_

“Mingyu? Mingyu!”

He needed quiet. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t _take it._ It almost felt like he was crawling out of his skin, every cell within him burning because he was on the brink of a full-on meltdown at this point. He could feel himself bumping into things, corners of walls and random pieces of furniture, and he’d probably bruise, but he didn’t care, couldn’t _bring_ himself to, not when he was panicking like this. Thankfully, he knew where he was trying to go, and without a knock or a second thought, Mingyu shoved the door open before stumbling into the guest bathroom.

Mingyu had already slammed the door closed, his back braced against the wood as he struggled to hold himself up, because his knees were shaking and his entire body felt like it was on the cusp of falling apart. He wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up because his stomach was churning and—

“Uh,” came a sudden voice, and it was only then that Mingyu realized he wasn’t alone. “Did you need the bathroom or something?”

Mingyu tried to get a good look at him, but he couldn’t, not when his brain was spiraling like it was and not when his vision was blurred with tears that he hadn’t fully comprehended had begun to sting his eyes. All he saw was a man with black hair and black ears and if he wasn’t teetering on the fine line of a breakdown, Mingyu would dare to say he was sitting, fully-clothed, in the empty bathtub with his phone in his hands.

Maybe he really had lost his fucking mind.

His legs refused to support his weight anymore though and with his back still pressed against the door, Mingyu felt himself slowly sink to the cold tiled floor. He didn’t know when he had started crying, but he was, loud and pained as he desperately tried to come back down from whatever panic he had worked himself into. His hands were twisting into anything he could reach; his sweater, his own _hair—_

“Hey. Hey, don’t— _Jesus_ , stop pulling,” someone was murmuring, cold fingers forcibly uncurling Mingyu’s own from their current spot on his scalp. He could feel a thumb tracing over the back of his palm, like he was being comforted. “You’re going to hurt yourself. Easy. You’re okay.”

Mingyu tried to pull his hands away, the restriction making him feel cornered, and he could feel himself gasping, letting out pained, rough noises as he tried to breathe.

“Shh. You’re okay.”

One more loud, guttural noise as Mingyu finally managed to stop hyperventilating. He was letting out ragged pants, muddled with sobs, the sound of his pulse buzzing in his ears just making things worse. He didn’t even know what kind of sounds he was making, but they were pained, because he had to be dying, he _felt_ like he was dying—

Pads of a few fingers rubbing gently along the tender and sensitive puppy ears protruding from his hair.

“You’re okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda wild we finally got a bit of mingyu's pov AND the introduction of a new character which i'm sure noneee of you have any guesses to who that is right? wink wink :3c
> 
> also, happy new year everyone! i think 2020 was a hard year for all of us.. i'm hoping this year will be better.
> 
> ps, thank you so much to all of you that commented last chapter. i'm sorry i didn't respond to you; you know that feeling you get when you read a text and say you'll respond later but then when you remember again it almost feels like it'd be rude to even respond at all at that point because it's been too long? that's what it felt like when i finally got my head on straight again shfhgjdk. regardless, i really do appreciate it. thank you for being so kind. i hope you enjoyed this nearly 8k tornado!!
> 
> also i made a silly [svt/vines thing :]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=af_V9qqyvjE) if you're ever in the mood for that because why not


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